I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons:
You’ve probably heard that mindful meditation is a good way to relieve stress or anxiety and improve general well-being, but it sounds like you have to go sit somewhere, close your eyes and meditate like a yogi. While that is one possibility, there are many other ways to practice this healing tool.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good at the whole meditating thing. There are times when it works for me, but most of the time I somehow get lost in the trying instead of the experience. Practicing mindfulness feels more natural and has similar benefits.
One of the things I often see with new coaching clients is that they can have a pretty good idea what they want, but be totally confused and overwhelmed at the same time. This keeps them spinning in circles and unable to move forward. Some times they just have too much information to process, but more often than not fear is using overwhelm as a distraction to try and keep them from taking a risk.
Too often, we find ourselves thinking about life and the things within it as hard, difficult or something we feel forced to do. We dread what will come next and brace ourselves for the work that will be required of us to keep up with the musts, shoulds and have tos we decide to take on.
We wonder why life is so hard, heavy and scary, not realizing it doesn’t have to be.
Not if you approach it as play.
In our modern world we are faced with decisions all day long. Some big, some small.
What should I put in my coffee?
What should I wear?
Should I quit my job?
With the bigger questions it is easy to get caught in a thought loop with our mind spinning on pros and cons and never landing anywhere. Often, the information it provides is conflicting and confusing.
We are always thinking something. More often than not, those thoughts can be negative. We can get so used to them running in the background of our minds that they feel normal and we simply accept how they make us feel.
Thoughts are just thoughts, not who you are, and you have control over them. That means that you can audit them and choose ones that serve you better.
Here are some simple ways to shift your thoughts so that you can think and feel more positive.
I feel pretty strongly about keeping commitments I make. Maybe too strong. Maybe even to the point of being rigid.
This morning I had an appointment to pick up groceries in a city about half an hour away from my house. They have a bigger selection than the local store and bring my online order out to my car, so it’s contact free shopping. It feels worth the drive every other week.
Well, it’s been quite a year. I know my head is still spinning and will probably continue to for awhile. With all that has happened and all that is still going on, doing an end of the year process is even more important this year.
So, pick up your pens or tablets or whatever you choose to use and let’s get writing.
While 2020 may have been full of loss and distress, remember we are always learning from our experiences and there is always something to be grateful for.
Use these prompts to guide you as you remember the good and the bad and say goodbye to 2020. It doesn’t matter if you write lists, paragraphs, or even a letter to the year. Just write from your heart.
What were the blessings and magical moments I experienced this year?
What successes did I achieve?
What am I proud of myself for?
What surprised me?
What did I learn from this year’s challenges?
What did I worry about and how did it turn out?
What do I want to take from this year to create a foundation for the year to come?
What do I want to leave behind? (physical, mental, or emotional)
What am I most grateful for? Write at least 100 things.
May you have a wonderful New Year holiday that brings closure to the past year and prepares you for a great year to come.
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Sometimes I think I’m an expert at creating negative fantasies. They may be about someone doing me wrong, my house burning down, a car accident, a fight with someone I care about or any number of things. The one thing they all have in common is that they make me feel sad, depressed or bad about myself.
Living a heartfelt life is one of the most peaceful and joyful ways to experience this world. It’s pretty much the opposite of what we see around us. Most people are too busy, too worried, and completely disconnected from their heart’s wisdom.
Once you start experiencing heartfelt moments you will crave them more and more. But, how is it possible to shape your entire life around them? It’s not as hard as you think and when you do it will feel like coming home to the life you were meant to live.
With all of the things going on in our world today, most of us are experiencing an increase in anxiety. I know I am. My clients are talking about it too.
We are all likely to be experiencing some level of grief today. The loss of jobs, relationships, and way of life due to Covid-19 can all bring deep sadness.
Many of the people I talk to have also recently lost friends or loved ones and are struggling with how to master the art of grieving. The death of someone we love is probably the deepest level of grief we can experience.
I know because I’ve been there.
There was a time in my life when I was a little girl that I felt very insecure. One of the ways I coped with this was to tell people made up stories that made me sound more important than I felt. I told so many falsehoods that I couldn’t keep track of them, which became a source of extreme stress. Eventually, I was found out and became more ostracized than ever.
That was when I became a lover of truth.
As I write this we are experiencing a global pandemic and there have been racially charged riots around the country. It feels like there is a lot going wrong in our world and if you are like me, it can impact how you feel.
In the early weeks of staying home due to Covid-19, my microwave broke. I panicked. My first thought was literally, “How will I eat? I’m going to starve!”
I realized very quickly that I was over-reacting and started problem solving instead, but it made me wonder why my mind would even go there.
I work with a lot of women who have creative minds. Their creativity is a gift that allows them to do amazing things, but sometimes they get lost in their thoughts and ideas and find it difficult to stay focused.
This happens to me too. I am an idea person. Brainstorming is one of my favorite things and my clients would tell you that some very interesting things can come out of my mind when I do this. But, I can get lost in it.
Now that it has been almost 2 months of living within a global pandemic, I am realizing there are additional consequences I hadn’t previously considered.
One is that I seem to have lost my sense of direction. Self-direction, that is.
If you are human, you are likely experiencing some ups and downs during your Covid-19 experience. I know I am. My worldview and thoughts are mostly positive, but last Sunday I ended up having a good cry. The next day I was back to normal again.
Even if we feel we are handling these unusual times well, they may still be taking a toll on us.
I noticed that I’ve been a little more nervous and jumpy even though my thoughts are mostly positive. My comfort zone seems to be shrinking as my life gets smaller and smaller. You may be noticing something similar or completely different, but I feel sure it’s impacting you too.
Now that many of us have been staying home for awhile due to Covid-19 we can find ourselves dealing with feelings of boredom, frustration or even depression. It can be challenging to stay positive when your world has been turned upside down.