I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons:
- Boredom
- Emotional ups and downs
- To treat myself
- Wanting to look good for others
- For the high of getting something new, even if it was short lived.
- Loving to get deals (I never met a t-shirt on a clearance rack I didn’t love.)
I would do this and feel all noble because I only bought items on sale, didn’t have debt and would make sure everything was written in my spending log. But, usually the truth would catch up with me and I would regret my purchases. I was buying things I didn’t really need or sometimes want.
Friends laughed at my small financial indiscretions and reminded me that I can always return things, but I’ve never been good at that. I seem to have a belief that when you buy something it’s for good unless it’s faulty and now that I live in a small town it would involve at least an hour of driving to go back to the store.
The real truth is that I would feel bad about mis-spent money because it was out of alignment with my values and goals. It was always about the relationship between me and me.
And then Covid came. Most of my time was spent at home and I pretty much lived in t-shirts, jeans and sweats. I did purchase new tees online from a brand I knew would fit me without being tried on, but mostly wore the clothes I had stockpiled on my prior wayward shopping trips.
A year or so went by and when things started to open up I only went to the grocery or home and garden stores.
Until yesterday.
You see, Kohls enticed me with a $5 coupon and 30% off. They have this marketing thing down to a science. I looked online and decided I would like to buy a kitchen knife like the one I already have that I love. I have 3 knives, but 2 don’t work well and it was only $7. But, to buy it online meant paying $8.95 in shipping and that didn’t make sense. A few days went by with my bouncing back and forth between letting the coupon expire or going to the store and buying the knife (which, by the way, wasn’t even on my radar before I got the coupon).
Yesterday, I gave in and went to Kohls. It was kind of eerie. The store had a lot of empty space and very little merchandise. There were women wandering aimlessly from section to section, looking a bit lost and zombie-like, forced to kill time shopping for things that didn’t seem to interest them at all.
I went straight to the kitchen section only to discover they didn’t have the knife I drove half an hour each way to buy. After losing an unknown amount of time to internal debate, I spent $5 more for a knife I didn’t want, but thought might work just to use the coupons.
Typing this, I realize how crazy it sounds. I sure hope I’m not the only one who has done this.
I like to look at feeling regret as a lesson learned and this was a good one. I realized I no longer want to go shopping for recreation or just to get a deal. I really don’t want to shop at all (except for food, plants or garage sales). I think the year of not shopping due to Covid broke my shopping addiction and gave me the space I needed to choose something else.
What I remembered is that:
- Its important to be intentional when I shop. Shopping is not recreation.
- When I shop to use a coupon I usually buy something that isn’t that meaningful.
- Pausing before making a buying decision really helps me be more conscious of my choices.
- Spending with integrity, according to my values is what feels best in the end.
- It IS okay to treat myself once in awhile, but I will do so intentionally and choose something I love.
- I don’t want to fill my house with stuff, especially stuff I never wanted
- I like my money in the bank more than I like gizmos and cheap t-shirts.
Some of you may think I’m crazy to write about spending $5 and shopping addiction, but this is more about what I have learned over the last year and a half. Having a Covid shopping break and then getting caught up in an advertising gimmick revealed what matters most to me and where I sometimes have gone wrong.
I’m very grateful for the lesson and my goal of shopping more intentionally feels peaceful and aligned with who I really am.
What about you? How is your relationship with spending? What changes can you make to feel more peaceful and aligned around the way you handle money? Drop a comment below if you would like to share.
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Coupons, Discounts and Shopping Zombie Syndrome
Thank you for your post. You are not alone in using a coupon for the sake of using a coupon. I have done it with things that I didn’t really need at the time, but it was a good “deal” so how can you pass it up, lol. However, sometimes I’ve found that the money saved is better than the money saved using that coupon. Glad you seem to have a better handle on it 🙂 Continued best of luck.
Samantha: I’m getting a lot of feedback that the marketing experts trap many of us with those coupons. It’s good we are aware now and can do better.