I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons:
You’ve probably heard that mindful meditation is a good way to relieve stress or anxiety and improve general well-being, but it sounds like you have to go sit somewhere, close your eyes and meditate like a yogi. While that is one possibility, there are many other ways to practice this healing tool.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good at the whole meditating thing. There are times when it works for me, but most of the time I somehow get lost in the trying instead of the experience. Practicing mindfulness feels more natural and has similar benefits.
I just passed the 5 year anniversary of my move from California to a small town in Missouri and have been reminiscing quite a bit. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. Making the decision, house hunting and the road trip here with my friend Traci seem like they just happened yesterday.
One of the things I often see with new coaching clients is that they can have a pretty good idea what they want, but be totally confused and overwhelmed at the same time. This keeps them spinning in circles and unable to move forward. Some times they just have too much information to process, but more often than not fear is using overwhelm as a distraction to try and keep them from taking a risk.
Too often, we find ourselves thinking about life and the things within it as hard, difficult or something we feel forced to do. We dread what will come next and brace ourselves for the work that will be required of us to keep up with the musts, shoulds and have tos we decide to take on.
We wonder why life is so hard, heavy and scary, not realizing it doesn’t have to be.
Not if you approach it as play.
I’ve been watching more TV than usual lately. It’s been a very cold winter and of course, there was that whole Covid thing going on too. About a month ago I received my second vaccine and had a reaction. I spent a couple days laying down and then experienced vertigo for a few more. Needless to say, I watched a lot of television.
Since then, I seem to be watching a couple hours every evening, sometimes even more. I’m enjoying my TV time, but not feeling good about feeling addicted and wasting my life away. It’s just not in alignment with my values.
Every once in awhile I come across a day that is not filled with deadlines, priorities or phone calls. My color coded calendar will have tasks that are mostly muted colors of grey or light blue, with nothing dramatic to catch my eye. They become a blur of suggestions for the day, not absolutes.
When you say yes, yes, yes to too many things your schedule can become overwhelming. You may find yourself feeling too busy, stressed and spending time on things that don’t speak to your heart.
Your time is a precious commodity and it is limited. Giving yourself away to a cycle of being too busy can leave you feeling trapped and exhausted, without being able to see a way out. After all, you are the one everyone depends on. Right?
This morning, my journaling started with a little grumpiness about a few minor things going on in my life before shifting into gratitude and appreciation. As I wrote from my heart about what I was grateful for I had a realization.
The life I am living now was in many ways one I would have called a dream in my earlier years. I decided to play with this idea and write a vision for the years to come from the perspective of my 40ish self. It included things like:
I was talking to a client last night about living his values and he brought up a code he was taught when taking karate lessons as a kid. It reminded me of when I created a program for teenage girls called, Living as a Samurai. A big part of that experience was to create their own Samurai code to live by.
Honor codes have been around for years, but in my generation they were mostly in the world of men. They are common in martial arts, the military and sports. Some businesses have them too, but they might call them something else.
These codes of honor can support us in feeling stronger within ourselves and committed to how we want to live our lives. Using them as a guide can reduce stress, bring clarity, make decisions easier and help us stay focused on living as our best selves.
Your brain loves the number three.
For one thing, it can only hold about 3 things in your short term memory at a time. The number 3 is also the lowest figure that can create patterns in your mind – and your brain loves patterns.
Productivity experts rave about doing things in threes. Keeping things limited to this amount allows for greater focus without overwhelm. That sounds good to me.
In our modern world we are faced with decisions all day long. Some big, some small.
What should I put in my coffee?
What should I wear?
Should I quit my job?
With the bigger questions it is easy to get caught in a thought loop with our mind spinning on pros and cons and never landing anywhere. Often, the information it provides is conflicting and confusing.
We are always thinking something. More often than not, those thoughts can be negative. We can get so used to them running in the background of our minds that they feel normal and we simply accept how they make us feel.
Thoughts are just thoughts, not who you are, and you have control over them. That means that you can audit them and choose ones that serve you better.
Here are some simple ways to shift your thoughts so that you can think and feel more positive.
Not many people know that I was once an AFAA certified personal trainer. This was back in the days when fitness training was a new thing. I didn’t plan on helping people exercise, I just wanted to learn. And, I learned a lot.
I feel pretty strongly about keeping commitments I make. Maybe too strong. Maybe even to the point of being rigid.
This morning I had an appointment to pick up groceries in a city about half an hour away from my house. They have a bigger selection than the local store and bring my online order out to my car, so it’s contact free shopping. It feels worth the drive every other week.
It is commonly said (even by me) that our thoughts create our feelings. While it is true that what we think impacts our moods there are other ways to influence how we feel.
Your mind and body share energy and work together. When they are aligned toward something positive is when you feel your best. When they aren’t, you can use one to influence the other.
Well, it’s been quite a year. I know my head is still spinning and will probably continue to for awhile. With all that has happened and all that is still going on, doing an end of the year process is even more important this year.
So, pick up your pens or tablets or whatever you choose to use and let’s get writing.
While 2020 may have been full of loss and distress, remember we are always learning from our experiences and there is always something to be grateful for.
Use these prompts to guide you as you remember the good and the bad and say goodbye to 2020. It doesn’t matter if you write lists, paragraphs, or even a letter to the year. Just write from your heart.
What were the blessings and magical moments I experienced this year?
What successes did I achieve?
What am I proud of myself for?
What surprised me?
What did I learn from this year’s challenges?
What did I worry about and how did it turn out?
What do I want to take from this year to create a foundation for the year to come?
What do I want to leave behind? (physical, mental, or emotional)
What am I most grateful for? Write at least 100 things.
May you have a wonderful New Year holiday that brings closure to the past year and prepares you for a great year to come.
Related Posts:
May your holidays be merry and bright!
Life is truly unpredictable and it can be fun to look back and realize how little we knew about how our lives would play out and who we would become.
For instance, I never imagined:
I’ve had my ups and downs with buying online during all this Covid-19 stuff. I spend more time online and am exposed to more nudges to buy things. It’s amazing how I can feel I have to have something based on an ad or article I’ve read. Scary too.
There are 3 simple things I do that help me buy less and not get caught up in the gotta have it moments.