Decision fatigue comes when we find ourselves having to evaluate and make choices over and over again. We make more decisions in one day than previous generations ever had to and to be honest it can be quite tiring.
Many of the choices we make each day are the same ones we made the day before. What to eat. What to wear. When to go to bed. What if there was a way to simplify the number of daily decisions and leave more space in our brains for other, more important things?
The period of completion after an uncomfortable experience is not just about resolution, it is also a time of transition. When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to integrate the lessons we have learned. Continue reading
I don’t have the bumper sticker, but I am one of those people who brakes for garage sales. Hunting for hidden treasures is something I have always enjoyed. It probably goes back to my roots of wearing thrift store clothes as a kid and how much fun it was to find something I loved.
In more recent years I’ve become more selective about what I buy and often come home empty handed. What I enjoy now is looking and visiting with the people there. My dog Daisy loves to join me on these adventures and is pretty good at soliciting lots of pets and attention.
We all have our moments of sadness, whether they are based on something that happened or seem to just show up for no reason. For many of us, these sad moments can keep piling up, leading to long term low moods or even depression.
We can feel helpless when that happens.
But, we don’t have to if we remember these 3 things:
Have you ever noticed that as people get older they become more entrenched in the way they view the world? I remember one woman I met while volunteering at an Alzheimer’s facility. She was always smiling and would get really excited about simple things like a game of Bingo. Her positive mindset was helping her stay happy and enjoy better moods during a challenging time of her life.
And then, I remember my dad. He would complain endlessly about people who he felt took advantage of him or what was wrong with the world. Visiting him meant listening to much repeated stories of things that had gone wrong in his life. He was angry, hateful and sad and I always felt drained after visiting him.
Both of these people had chosen a way of thinking that programmed their brains year after year until they were living fully in the mindsets they created.
I’m often drawn to people who have a sense of quiet confidence and serenity about them. They seem to move through the world differently, like there is a river of strength, capability and peace running through them.
I want to be more like that.
And, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.
Whenever we grow or heal or improve ourselves we move closer to this sense of strength and peace within. Serenity is our natural state and the things that keep us in stress, anxiety and overwhelm are simply covering it up. The path to deep serenity is one of loving ourselves and letting go of what no longer serves us. It is a lifelong journey.
While we travel this healing journey toward peace, we also find ourselves craving serenity in our daily lives. Every time we listen to that call and focus on a more peaceful way of being we take one step closer to our authentic serene selves.
Life is commonly viewed as a straight line that goes from birth to death. I don’t know about you, but mine is full of peaks and valleys, twists and turns and a whole lot of spirals that don’t seem to go anywhere.
Those spirals, that I often call getting stuck in the muck, keep me spinning in circles instead of moving forward and make me miserable too. The symptoms are easy to identify:
Even when our days feel good, there is always room for improvement. It doesn’t mean you have to put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that can brighten your day the most.
Here are some simple and easy ways to make your days feel great:
This is the time of year when my clients are asking a lot of questions about dieting, over-eating and resolutions. A new year is always a good time for a fresh start, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fan of New Year resolutions. Very few people actually keep them and broken resolutions can damage our confidence and self-esteem.
Instead, I recommend choosing a theme to play with and/or setting intentions for the year to come. Intentions are more fluid than resolutions and still lead you on a path to what you want and who you want to become. If you fall off the path there is no need for judgement, you simply pick up where you left off.
This morning I was talking to a client about improving her relationship with food and breaking the cycle of over-eating. As I recommended some steps for her I realized they might make a good blog post, so here they are:
We can let our next year happen and just accept our default experiences or we can work toward intentionally creating a year that we will love.
While this may sound like resolutions, it is a bit different. Resolutions have fixed outcomes and if you don’t reach them you feel like you have failed. Intentions move you forward the direction you want to go without expectations of a specific outcome. They leave room for shifts in direction or moving toward new opportunities when they arise.
Intentions are a more gentle and graceful way to follow your heart and become the person you want to be.
We all have dreams and desires that may not be possible at the present moment, but what do you do when something you really, really want can’t happen.
One of my clients contacted me because she wanted to move to a small town in the midwest, but her husband didn’t feel he could leave his high earning job at the time. The small town idea was stuck in her mind and she just couldn’t shake it. After we confirmed the reality of her situation, I asked her what she thought it would be like to live in a small town. She painted a beautiful picture of a simple life with a close-knit community that reminded me of a Hallmark movie. It was lovely.
I love garage sales and the picture above is of one of my recent finds. As I hung it on the wall, I reflected on the message of kindness. Yes. Kindness truly does matter and it’s something I work to integrate into my life. Like many of you I can be very kind to others, but sometimes it’s a bit harder to remember to be kind to myself.
Each of us has an inner bully, a voice in our head that belittles us and makes us feel bad. Many of us give it free rein and believe what it says even though it’s messages aren’t true. The strange thing is that we would go to great lengths to protect a child who was being bullied, but then let our own inner bully beat us up day in and day out.
How do you start your mornings? It’s easy to fall into the habit of letting negative thoughts lead the way. For many, their first thoughts are about what hurts, what they “have to” do that day, or rehashing something negative that has happened. You and I are likely to fall into that trap occasionally too, but we know there is a better way. And, it begins with morning habits that help you start your day right.
After all, how you start your day will impact how you feel and perform throughout the day.
“Everything is figureoutable.” – Marie Forleo
While I’m not sure that I agree that EVERYTHING is figureoutable, I’m pretty sure most things are. It’s not always easy though. Whether we are brainstorming or making decisions, the process will go more smoothly when we are focused and tap into what I call, empowered thinking.
Empowered thinking is when you bring your mind and your intuition together to help you discover what you need or want to know. If you only use one or the other the process can be hard, confusing and sometimes even impossible. It’s only when your intuition and mind work together that you can be your most effective and make the best choices.
For those of you who don’t know, this is Daisy. Today is the 3rd anniversary of her adoption day and I am grateful that she has come into my life. Daisy is my first dog so I had a lot to learn. I had always wanted one, but lived in apartments and condos for years and didn’t feel I had the right space. Once I moved to a home with a yard the time just felt right.
We’ve had a lot of adventures together and I’ve learned a lot from this little girl who seems to have taken over my life.
Here are a few of the top lessons:
I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons:
You’ve probably heard that mindful meditation is a good way to relieve stress or anxiety and improve general well-being, but it sounds like you have to go sit somewhere, close your eyes and meditate like a yogi. While that is one possibility, there are many other ways to practice this healing tool.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good at the whole meditating thing. There are times when it works for me, but most of the time I somehow get lost in the trying instead of the experience. Practicing mindfulness feels more natural and has similar benefits.
Too often, we find ourselves thinking about life and the things within it as hard, difficult or something we feel forced to do. We dread what will come next and brace ourselves for the work that will be required of us to keep up with the musts, shoulds and have tos we decide to take on.
We wonder why life is so hard, heavy and scary, not realizing it doesn’t have to be.
Not if you approach it as play.
When you say yes, yes, yes to too many things your schedule can become overwhelming. You may find yourself feeling too busy, stressed and spending time on things that don’t speak to your heart.
Your time is a precious commodity and it is limited. Giving yourself away to a cycle of being too busy can leave you feeling trapped and exhausted, without being able to see a way out. After all, you are the one everyone depends on. Right?
I was talking to a client last night about living his values and he brought up a code he was taught when taking karate lessons as a kid. It reminded me of when I created a program for teenage girls called, Living as a Samurai. A big part of that experience was to create their own Samurai code to live by.
Honor codes have been around for years, but in my generation they were mostly in the world of men. They are common in martial arts, the military and sports. Some businesses have them too, but they might call them something else.
These codes of honor can support us in feeling stronger within ourselves and committed to how we want to live our lives. Using them as a guide can reduce stress, bring clarity, make decisions easier and help us stay focused on living as our best selves.