It’s so easy to get caught up in the drama, reacting to what is happening and feeling like you need to defend or protect yourself. The story of what is happening may even become amplified in your mind when it triggers fears, pain or echoes a past negative experience. But, the extra upset you create only hurts you and keeps you distracted from resolution.
Resolving things that feel upsetting happens best when you can be in a calm and rational state. When your energy is neutral you can be more thoughtful, open and find solutions for the issue at hand. Easier said then done. Right?
Keep in mind – It’s how you relate to the issue that matters most.
I often recommend journaling about upsets to vent out some of the energy around what is happening, but venting only takes things so far. It’s important to also approach the issue from a place of understanding and personal power.
Following are some questions you can ask yourself when something or someone upsets you. When used together they create a process that will help you move through the situation. If you are open to it, I encourage you to work with this process in a journal.
- What is the issue? Describe it briefly in a neutral way.
- How does it make me feel?
- What part did I play in this? Keep in mind, you are at least responsible for your reaction to it, but in most situations we contribute or set ourselves up in some way.
- If another person is involved – Can I understand why they feel the way they do or what is creating this within them? Can I move forward with compassion or understanding?
- Is there anything I can say or do that will improve or resolve the situation?
- What would showing up as my best self moving forward look like?
- What would it feel like to show up as my best self?
- What are my next steps?
- How can I nurture myself or practice self-care?
- What am I willing to commit to?
I hope that this process helps you feel better when issues arise. If you use it often, you will become more able to feel confident, neutral, and solution oriented when faced with uncomfortable situations.
I would love to hear what you think or how it works for you? Please feel free to comment below this post.
And, if you feel stuck in an issue or would like support as you move through one, hiring an experienced professional coach would be a great move. If you are interested, you can connect with me here.
Related Posts:
How to Lift Yourself Up in Challenging Times