When clients first start working with me they are often feeling overwhelmed, upset, or out of balance. Many of them have forgotten who they really are, judging themselves on the basis of:
We are All Souls
Riding the Waves of Our Emotions
Recently, I was having dinner with my family when something said triggered a memory and I started crying. Everyone was surprised, especially me. The last time my family saw me cry was 6 years ago when I thought I lost my cat while moving. These tears seemed out of the blue.
I like to believe that I have resolved and healed the experiences from my past, and mostly I have. The time and energy I have put into healing and evolving has paid off, but I doubt anyone ever does it perfectly. There are different angles, remnants and nuances that can still be triggered and set off our emotions. Not as many, but there are usually some.
Are You Stuffocating?
I don’t have the bumper sticker, but I am one of those people who brakes for garage sales. Hunting for hidden treasures is something I have always enjoyed. It probably goes back to my roots of wearing thrift store clothes as a kid and how much fun it was to find something I loved.
In more recent years I’ve become more selective about what I buy and often come home empty handed. What I enjoy now is looking and visiting with the people there. My dog Daisy loves to join me on these adventures and is pretty good at soliciting lots of pets and attention.
3 Things to Remember When You are Feeling Sad
We all have our moments of sadness, whether they are based on something that happened or seem to just show up for no reason. For many of us, these sad moments can keep piling up, leading to long term low moods or even depression.
We can feel helpless when that happens.
But, we don’t have to if we remember these 3 things:
Practice Mental Hygiene for a Lifetime of Better Moods
Have you ever noticed that as people get older they become more entrenched in the way they view the world? I remember one woman I met while volunteering at an Alzheimer’s facility. She was always smiling and would get really excited about simple things like a game of Bingo. Her positive mindset was helping her stay happy and enjoy better moods during a challenging time of her life.
And then, I remember my dad. He would complain endlessly about people who he felt took advantage of him or what was wrong with the world. Visiting him meant listening to much repeated stories of things that had gone wrong in his life. He was angry, hateful and sad and I always felt drained after visiting him.
Both of these people had chosen a way of thinking that programmed their brains year after year until they were living fully in the mindsets they created.
Strange Things Life Coach Training Didn’t Prepare Me For
I’ve been at this life coaching thing for awhile. Twenty years to be exact. And, in that time I have experienced many amazing moments, witnessed miracles and felt sure I was doing what I am meant to do.
My life has been blessed by this career choice in many ways. My work is flexible and supports me well. It transitioned easily when I moved cross country and because most of my sessions are by phone, I can work from anywhere, wearing whatever I want.
Being a Life Coach has allowed me to study a variety of interesting subjects each year and call it working. It doesn’t hurt that they can be claimed as tax deductions too. My studies have taken me from emotional healing, brain hacks, fearless living, quieting the mind, shifting limiting beliefs, and more. The high point was a master’s program in spiritual psychology. Along the way I met many amazing people traveling a similar path as mine who continue to be my friends today.
The Path to Serenity
I’m often drawn to people who have a sense of quiet confidence and serenity about them. They seem to move through the world differently, like there is a river of strength, capability and peace running through them.
I want to be more like that.
And, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.
Whenever we grow or heal or improve ourselves we move closer to this sense of strength and peace within. Serenity is our natural state and the things that keep us in stress, anxiety and overwhelm are simply covering it up. The path to deep serenity is one of loving ourselves and letting go of what no longer serves us. It is a lifelong journey.
While we travel this healing journey toward peace, we also find ourselves craving serenity in our daily lives. Every time we listen to that call and focus on a more peaceful way of being we take one step closer to our authentic serene selves.
Embracing Gratitude for Health and Happiness
I’ve recently returned to the practice of journaling gratitude at the end of each day. I was feeling off center and a bit ungrounded and this is something that has worked for me in the past. It has been one of my favorite practices since Oprah talked about it decades ago and recent studies have shown it improves mood and well-being.
Feeling Stuck in the Muck and How to Get Out of It
Life is commonly viewed as a straight line that goes from birth to death. I don’t know about you, but mine is full of peaks and valleys, twists and turns and a whole lot of spirals that don’t seem to go anywhere.
Those spirals, that I often call getting stuck in the muck, keep me spinning in circles instead of moving forward and make me miserable too. The symptoms are easy to identify:
39 Simple Ways to Brighten Your Day
Even when our days feel good, there is always room for improvement. It doesn’t mean you have to put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that can brighten your day the most.
Here are some simple and easy ways to make your days feel great:
Decluttering Questions that Help You Let Go of Stuff
I am not a lover of clutter. It seems the older I get the more suffocated I feel when things start to accumulate. I crave space, breathing room, and love knowing exactly where everything is. Don’t get me wrong. My house is not always clean and I’m not anywhere near OCD, but opening a closet or cupboard and being able to see each item clearly with plenty of open space feels peaceful to me.
How to Break the Cycle of Over-Eating
This is the time of year when my clients are asking a lot of questions about dieting, over-eating and resolutions. A new year is always a good time for a fresh start, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fan of New Year resolutions. Very few people actually keep them and broken resolutions can damage our confidence and self-esteem.
Instead, I recommend choosing a theme to play with and/or setting intentions for the year to come. Intentions are more fluid than resolutions and still lead you on a path to what you want and who you want to become. If you fall off the path there is no need for judgement, you simply pick up where you left off.
This morning I was talking to a client about improving her relationship with food and breaking the cycle of over-eating. As I recommended some steps for her I realized they might make a good blog post, so here they are:
Intentionally Creating Your New Year
We can let our next year happen and just accept our default experiences or we can work toward intentionally creating a year that we will love.
While this may sound like resolutions, it is a bit different. Resolutions have fixed outcomes and if you don’t reach them you feel like you have failed. Intentions move you forward the direction you want to go without expectations of a specific outcome. They leave room for shifts in direction or moving toward new opportunities when they arise.
Intentions are a more gentle and graceful way to follow your heart and become the person you want to be.
40 Clutter Free Gift Ideas
Many of the people I talk to as a Life Coach tell me they wish they had less clutter in their homes. It comes up so often it feels like a cultural trend. When they are working on clearing out stuff, one of the things they often get stuck on is getting rid of unused or unloved gifts. They seem to feel a sense of obligation to display or keep whatever has been given to them.
7 Meaningful Benefits of Living Simply
In the midst of our commercial world there is a quiet movement toward minimalism and simplicity. People are realizing that the drive to have more and more stuff, compare and keep up with others and try to cover their emotional pain with shopping sprees is not the answer.
They have frantically pursued shiny objects they thought would make them happy while burying their awareness that this way of life was harming their health, putting them in debt and causing them to stuffocate.
The question is: What is enough?
When You Can’t Get What You Want
We all have dreams and desires that may not be possible at the present moment, but what do you do when something you really, really want can’t happen.
One of my clients contacted me because she wanted to move to a small town in the midwest, but her husband didn’t feel he could leave his high earning job at the time. The small town idea was stuck in her mind and she just couldn’t shake it. After we confirmed the reality of her situation, I asked her what she thought it would be like to live in a small town. She painted a beautiful picture of a simple life with a close-knit community that reminded me of a Hallmark movie. It was lovely.
Quieting the Inner Bully
I love garage sales and the picture above is of one of my recent finds. As I hung it on the wall, I reflected on the message of kindness. Yes. Kindness truly does matter and it’s something I work to integrate into my life. Like many of you I can be very kind to others, but sometimes it’s a bit harder to remember to be kind to myself.
Each of us has an inner bully, a voice in our head that belittles us and makes us feel bad. Many of us give it free rein and believe what it says even though it’s messages aren’t true. The strange thing is that we would go to great lengths to protect a child who was being bullied, but then let our own inner bully beat us up day in and day out.
7 Easy Ways to Transform Your Mornings & Start Your Days Right
How do you start your mornings? It’s easy to fall into the habit of letting negative thoughts lead the way. For many, their first thoughts are about what hurts, what they “have to” do that day, or rehashing something negative that has happened. You and I are likely to fall into that trap occasionally too, but we know there is a better way. And, it begins with morning habits that help you start your day right.
After all, how you start your day will impact how you feel and perform throughout the day.
How to Figure Things Out
“Everything is figureoutable.” – Marie Forleo
While I’m not sure that I agree that EVERYTHING is figureoutable, I’m pretty sure most things are. It’s not always easy though. Whether we are brainstorming or making decisions, the process will go more smoothly when we are focused and tap into what I call, empowered thinking.
Empowered thinking is when you bring your mind and your intuition together to help you discover what you need or want to know. If you only use one or the other the process can be hard, confusing and sometimes even impossible. It’s only when your intuition and mind work together that you can be your most effective and make the best choices.
8 Lessons I Learned from Getting a Dog
For those of you who don’t know, this is Daisy. Today is the 3rd anniversary of her adoption day and I am grateful that she has come into my life. Daisy is my first dog so I had a lot to learn. I had always wanted one, but lived in apartments and condos for years and didn’t feel I had the right space. Once I moved to a home with a yard the time just felt right.
We’ve had a lot of adventures together and I’ve learned a lot from this little girl who seems to have taken over my life.
Here are a few of the top lessons: