Recently, I was having dinner with my family when something said triggered a memory and I started crying. Everyone was surprised, especially me. The last time my family saw me cry was 6 years ago when I thought I lost my cat while moving. These tears seemed out of the blue.
I like to believe that I have resolved and healed the experiences from my past, and mostly I have. The time and energy I have put into healing and evolving has paid off, but I doubt anyone ever does it perfectly. There are different angles, remnants and nuances that can still be triggered and set off our emotions. Not as many, but there are usually some.
In the past, an emotional trigger like this would have scared me. My thoughts would go to fear of depression or getting stuck in the pain and all the things that come with it. But, not any more. I guess that is a benefit of all the “work” I have done.
I no longer believe past events or emotions control me. I can feel the feelings and not get stuck in them. My new perspective is that emotions and life events are simply experiences we are having, not things that happen TO us. It’s a subtle difference, but can be empowering. We are not under attack by life, experiences are simply floating by and sometimes they bring emotions that move through us. None of it is permanent unless we choose to make it so.
I’ve learned that by being gentle with myself and practicing self-care I usually process these things in just a few days. So, I give myself some grace for those days. This time it involved journaling, looking for the gifts of the past experience and a lot of ice cream.
There are some perspectives I’ve come to believe that also support me during these times. I am sharing them here in the hopes that they will help you some day, too.
-Being upset is an opportunity to heal, learn and grow.
-Always, always, always be gentle with yourself. There is no room for self-judgement here.
-Emotions move through us and are temporary. Don’t let yourself get stuck in them.
-It’s important to release expectations that you will ever heal everything. No one is perfect.
-True power does not come from your circumstances, but when you trust yourself to take care of yourself.
-God will bring things up when you are ready and able to process them.
-The painful energy of the past can be shifted and used for good.
-There are gifts in all experiences. Without my past I wouldn’t be who I am today or able to do the work I do as a coach supporting other women.
-Let hurtful things and resentments go. They only hurt you and God will take care of the details.
-Ask for help if you need it or would just like support.
-You will be okay.
Life happens. Sometimes it feels good and sometimes, not so much. I hope these perspectives help you when you find yourself reacting or on the lower end of the rollercoaster of life.
If you would like some coaching around this or other things in your life, let’s schedule a call. You can reach me here.
Related Posts:
A 5 Step Process for Healing Your History
Questions to Ask Yourself When Someone or Something Upsets You
Love You LInda Luke! You have helped me tremendously in the past! Nicole
Glad to hear it and I hope life is treating you well. Take care!