We all have years where we are in denial or have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. When that has happened to me I have always regretted it later, so, I make sure to nurture the Christmas spirit in my heart. Here are some of my favorite ways to do so.
When we are grounded, we feel centered, strong, aligned, and connected to our inner wisdom. It brings a calm confidence that empowers us and allows us to operate as our best selves.
Life can sometimes unsettle us and pull us from our natural grounded state. When it does this, we may notice that we are not feeling or doing our best. Everything may seem harder and our inner resources can be depleted.
When life isn’t working for you and just about everything feels off, it is a good sign that you may be living out of alignment with your authentic self. All of us are to some degree, but when you choose to embrace authenticity your life can be transformed.
Here is how:
There was a time in my life when I felt like I couldn’t even remember who I was. After years where I survived scary things as a child, was in an abusive relationship, grieved a man I loved and pushed myself to the limits as a single mom I was exhausted. I just put one foot in front of the other and never even considered there might be more to life.
As a coach, I talk to women experiencing the same thing almost every day. Sometimes it’s a life transition like menopause or an empty nest that helps them realize there are better things than what they are experiencing. And sometimes their soul calls out to them asking for change. Whatever the catalyst is, they begin to realize that there is hope, they can make choices and in order to thrive they need to listen to the calling of their heart.
As we enter the month of September, I am anticipating the transition from summer to fall. When I lived in California there was little evidence of seasons changing and I was not tuned into these cycles of nature. Now that I have moved to Missouri, I live by them.
When clients first start working with me they are often feeling overwhelmed, upset, or out of balance. Many of them have forgotten who they really are, judging themselves on the basis of:
I don’t have the bumper sticker, but I am one of those people who brakes for garage sales. Hunting for hidden treasures is something I have always enjoyed. It probably goes back to my roots of wearing thrift store clothes as a kid and how much fun it was to find something I loved.
In more recent years I’ve become more selective about what I buy and often come home empty handed. What I enjoy now is looking and visiting with the people there. My dog Daisy loves to join me on these adventures and is pretty good at soliciting lots of pets and attention.
I’m often drawn to people who have a sense of quiet confidence and serenity about them. They seem to move through the world differently, like there is a river of strength, capability and peace running through them.
I want to be more like that.
And, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.
Whenever we grow or heal or improve ourselves we move closer to this sense of strength and peace within. Serenity is our natural state and the things that keep us in stress, anxiety and overwhelm are simply covering it up. The path to deep serenity is one of loving ourselves and letting go of what no longer serves us. It is a lifelong journey.
While we travel this healing journey toward peace, we also find ourselves craving serenity in our daily lives. Every time we listen to that call and focus on a more peaceful way of being we take one step closer to our authentic serene selves.
I’ve recently returned to the practice of journaling gratitude at the end of each day. I was feeling off center and a bit ungrounded and this is something that has worked for me in the past. It has been one of my favorite practices since Oprah talked about it decades ago and recent studies have shown it improves mood and well-being.
Life is commonly viewed as a straight line that goes from birth to death. I don’t know about you, but mine is full of peaks and valleys, twists and turns and a whole lot of spirals that don’t seem to go anywhere.
Those spirals, that I often call getting stuck in the muck, keep me spinning in circles instead of moving forward and make me miserable too. The symptoms are easy to identify:
I am not a lover of clutter. It seems the older I get the more suffocated I feel when things start to accumulate. I crave space, breathing room, and love knowing exactly where everything is. Don’t get me wrong. My house is not always clean and I’m not anywhere near OCD, but opening a closet or cupboard and being able to see each item clearly with plenty of open space feels peaceful to me.
This is the time of year when my clients are asking a lot of questions about dieting, over-eating and resolutions. A new year is always a good time for a fresh start, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fan of New Year resolutions. Very few people actually keep them and broken resolutions can damage our confidence and self-esteem.
Instead, I recommend choosing a theme to play with and/or setting intentions for the year to come. Intentions are more fluid than resolutions and still lead you on a path to what you want and who you want to become. If you fall off the path there is no need for judgement, you simply pick up where you left off.
This morning I was talking to a client about improving her relationship with food and breaking the cycle of over-eating. As I recommended some steps for her I realized they might make a good blog post, so here they are:
In the midst of our commercial world there is a quiet movement toward minimalism and simplicity. People are realizing that the drive to have more and more stuff, compare and keep up with others and try to cover their emotional pain with shopping sprees is not the answer.
They have frantically pursued shiny objects they thought would make them happy while burying their awareness that this way of life was harming their health, putting them in debt and causing them to stuffocate.
The question is: What is enough?
I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons:
I’ve been watching more TV than usual lately. It’s been a very cold winter and of course, there was that whole Covid thing going on too. About a month ago I received my second vaccine and had a reaction. I spent a couple days laying down and then experienced vertigo for a few more. Needless to say, I watched a lot of television.
Since then, I seem to be watching a couple hours every evening, sometimes even more. I’m enjoying my TV time, but not feeling good about feeling addicted and wasting my life away. It’s just not in alignment with my values.
Every once in awhile I come across a day that is not filled with deadlines, priorities or phone calls. My color coded calendar will have tasks that are mostly muted colors of grey or light blue, with nothing dramatic to catch my eye. They become a blur of suggestions for the day, not absolutes.
When you say yes, yes, yes to too many things your schedule can become overwhelming. You may find yourself feeling too busy, stressed and spending time on things that don’t speak to your heart.
Your time is a precious commodity and it is limited. Giving yourself away to a cycle of being too busy can leave you feeling trapped and exhausted, without being able to see a way out. After all, you are the one everyone depends on. Right?
I was talking to a client last night about living his values and he brought up a code he was taught when taking karate lessons as a kid. It reminded me of when I created a program for teenage girls called, Living as a Samurai. A big part of that experience was to create their own Samurai code to live by.
Honor codes have been around for years, but in my generation they were mostly in the world of men. They are common in martial arts, the military and sports. Some businesses have them too, but they might call them something else.
These codes of honor can support us in feeling stronger within ourselves and committed to how we want to live our lives. Using them as a guide can reduce stress, bring clarity, make decisions easier and help us stay focused on living as our best selves.
I feel pretty strongly about keeping commitments I make. Maybe too strong. Maybe even to the point of being rigid.
This morning I had an appointment to pick up groceries in a city about half an hour away from my house. They have a bigger selection than the local store and bring my online order out to my car, so it’s contact free shopping. It feels worth the drive every other week.
The holiday season can be pretty crazy with gifts to buy, food to make, and events to attend. Sometimes they can keep you so busy that you never quite get into the feeling of what the holidays should be. When that happens, try one of these ideas to bring some sanity into this time of year. Continue reading