I’ve spent some time on Quora answering questions about life for readers and thought it might be fun to share some of the answers here. Maybe you have some of the same questions.
I may start doing this as a regular feature and welcome your questions for future posts. You can email me or contact me through my website to ask what is on your mind. In the meantime, here are some of my answers: Continue reading
Confidence and self-esteem are based on a foundation of being able to trust yourself. When you know that you will take care of your own needs, you will feel safe enough to move confidently into the world.
This may feel hard or impossible in some moments, but it doesn’t need to.
Simply practice the following steps to increase self trust and the confidence that you desire will naturally follow. Continue reading
My friend Traci and I drove from California to Missouri with 2 cats in the back seat of my car. We took I-15 and then I-70 straight across the country, joking that it would be less likely we got lost with such a direct route.
We experienced California deserts, the glitz of Las Vegas, a tiny tip of Arizona, the dramatic red rock of Utah, majestic beauty in the Colorado Rocky mountains, the big sky of Kansas, and finally arrived in Missouri on the third day.
We were in awe of the scenery before us and even experienced a sunrise that brought us to tears.
Common themes in our conversations were:
Looking back at the photographs I took it is hard to believe I was actually there. Even though the photos were taken through the car window and the quality is questionable, they still bring back those magical moments.
I would like to share a few with you: (All images:© 2017 Linda Luke)
Now just imagine the colors brighter and clearer, because they were.
Can you believe I was actually there? I saw these miracles with my own eyes?
I feel so humbled and blessed.
Related Posts:
Scenes from a Small Town Morning Walk
All images:© 2017 Linda Luke
The Shipping Cube with What I Decided to Take
While preparing for my move to Missouri, I decided to sell or give away more than 1/2 of my stuff. For some people this may not have been a big deal, but I lived simply and didn’t have much to begin with.
It was interesting observing how my thoughts about the things in my life shifted as my move date neared. It seemed to come in layers:
The Garage Sale – At this point I was still invested in the value of my things. After all, I was going to sell stuff and get money in return. I felt like I was being bold in my choices of what to include, not realizing this was only the beginning.
The Remains – When the garage sale was over I was faced with leftover items that I still thought were worth selling. I was very uncomfortable with the idea of just leaving things that I could get money for. This started a period of offering items in my city Facebook group and Craigslist. Some sold. Some didn’t.
Giving – And then, I just let the attachments go. This opened the door to my favorite part of the process, giving things away. And, not just little things. I would go through my house each day and find more and more stuff to give. I fell in love with giving and it made it much easier to release what I owned. It was also a lot of fun.
Leaving – The buyer of my house had said that I could leave things and didn’t have to clean the house. At first, the idea of doing this was appalling to me. But, when the 100 degree heat wave arrived on my last week, I could only do so much. Packing and loading under the blistering sun was getting to me and making me dizzy. So, when I said goodbye to my house, there were still some things left behind. I feel sure they will find good homes. Everything I was taking to my new life was packed into a 6′ by 7′ pod to be shipped to my new home.
Wanting Less – As I am unpacking and settling into my new home I am being very careful about what I invite in. Surprisingly, I will have even more to give away. Some things just don’t fit my new home or life. Maybe living without them for a couple weeks diminished their importance in my mind. Whatever the reason, they feel like clutter and I just don’t want them anymore.
Balancing with More – I love simplicity, but am not sure I am a minimalist. I have made some purchases recently for my new lifestyle, a new washer and dryer and yard maintenance items like a weed wacker. I also plan on bringing in a new sofa that fits with the colors in my new home. What is different is that I am being very careful about what I bring in. I only want things that I use regularly or love. And, I don’t want very many of them.
Moving provided me with the opportunity for a fresh start. I have empty closets and cupboards with only a few items. Everything is organized and makes sense. (Well, almost everything. I haven’t got to the office yet.) I even have an extra bedroom that I don’t know what I will do with. The one thing I’m sure of is that it won’t become a junk room full of stuff.
My experience of letting go has revealed how tightly I held onto stuff that really wasn’t that meaningful to me. I was also attached to the idea of getting a return on what I thought was valuable. It was only when I let go and began to give things away that I felt truly authentic, peaceful, and was able to have fun with the process.
Even without a lot (although I had more than I thought) I was being smothered and controlled by my things. In the simple living movement about 20 years ago there was a slogan that said, “Don’t Stuffocate!” I think I get it now.
Related Posts:
A Sense of Order Soothes the Soul
Is Tidying Up the Secret to Happiness?
Infobesity: 5 Ways to Prevent Information Overload
All images:© 2017 Linda Luke
Linda and Traci after two 10 hour days of driving.
I’ve been quiet. Very quiet. And, I have also been very, very busy.
It has been several weeks since I last posted and I keep waiting for the words to come, but my brain seems to be busy synthesizing all the changes I have experienced. I think it needs time to catch up with my life.
So, maybe I will just start writing and see what happens.
In the last month or so I’ve made a lot of changes, including:
Yep! I’ve been busy. This was a courageous step for me and I couldn’t be happier.
Stay tuned. There is more to come…
Related Posts:
Am I crazy?!?
I seem to have somehow turned my life upside down in the last few weeks. Totally topsy turvy. It’s been completely insane, and maybe I am too.
My grandchildren, son, and daughter-in-law have settled in to small town life in Missouri. I miss them terribly and thought I would end up there at some point, but always felt anchored to this place where I was born and have lived my life for almost 62 years.
And then, three things happened within a few weeks:
It seemed as if God was giving me plenty of signs that leaving CA was the right thing to do.
The next week I was in MO for my grandson’s graduation and it was a rollercoaster ride of looking at houses, making big decisions, offers that were too late, looking for rental options when none existed, and a last minute opportunity that I made an offer on.
A few days later I cancelled escrow on the house when the inspection revealed some serious issues I was not comfortable with.
I might be leaving, but my fear of becoming homeless was getting stronger and stronger.
But, that same night I negotiated a deal on a “for sale by owner” property I liked, but felt was overpriced. I was back in escrow again.
This is a good move for me:
It’s all good.
And now, I enter a season of goodbyes. To people, communities, my hikes in the hills, places I love, and half of my possessions. I can live with that because soon it will be a season of hello’s as I make new friends, find my place in a new community, explore the area, and build a home sanctuary. Thanks to email and social media I can stay connected to all.
I will always love California. It’s in my blood. I’t’s just time for a new adventure.
Goodbye sweet California. I will miss you.
House image: © 2017 Linda Luke
As a coach, I hear a lot of people talking about trying to figure out what their life purpose is. For many, not feeling they know it is a source of great angst and leaves them feeling like they are living their lives all wrong. They feel guilty and ashamed that they are not doing this one great thing because they can’t figure it out. And, that makes them feel like a failure
My clients are often surprised when I share my thoughts on life purpose with them.
I believe it’s okay to play with purpose, but not let seeking it rule you. You can take quizzes and read books that help you connect with your values, natural gifts and what you enjoy, but that doesn’t always lead to knowing your purpose in this world.
You may also hear that if you just do what you love, you will be living on purpose. Supposedly, money will follow, but I am not so sure it always works out that way. Sometimes we need to do things we don’t love to take care of ourselves and loved ones.
I’m not usually a naysayer, but I’ve seen people get obsessed with this idea of purpose and shame themselves if they think they are not in alignment with it.
There is a more peaceful way.
Realize that your life purpose is not always a big, grand thing. It could be a series of little tiny moments where you start a butterfly effect without even knowing. It could be within arms reach within your family or the work you are already doing. Or, it could be a simple smile you give someone that lifts them up to do what they are meant to do in the world.
Don’t let this idea of purpose keep you stuck or control you. If you don’t have a sense of it, just live your life consciously. Follow your heart and intuition with each small decision you make and eventually you will end up in the right place.
Actually, I believe you are already there.
Seeking purpose takes you out of your life and present moments. It can distract you from the things that are most meaningful and cause you to overlook the very thing you are looking for.
It’s not big, its simple. Purpose is about living a life of alignment and making choices based on your inner knowing. It’s not something you seek. It is always there guiding you from within. And, you don’t need to know it’s name, shape, or form.
It’s time to take the pressure off and just live in a way that feels meaningful. You are always on purpose whether you know it or not.
Related Posts:
Get Real – How to Live an Authentic Life
I was going through some books this morning that I have gathered over the years and came across one by Sarah Ban Breathnach called, Simple Abundance. I let the pages fall open where they would and saw this:
“When we cherish our dream and invest love, creative energy, perseverance, and passion for ourselves, we will achieve authentic success.”
Well said, Sarah.
This lovely book is based on her 6 principles of simple abundance:
Just saying them brings peace to my heart.
I think I am going to spend some time with this book again. Apparently, it still has more to teach me.
There are a lot of people feeling inspired to clear the clutter in their homes and lives right now. It’s a hot topic, and one that I can really get behind. I love living simply and creating a life that matters.
But, I wonder if some of the things being put out there can feel too rigid for some of you. Do they hold you back and prevent your getting started? Or, make you judge yourself as not doing enough?
I am in a number of Facebook Groups on minimalism, clutter, and simple living and sometimes I want to cringe when someone asks how to let go of things like their grandmother’s necklace or their childhood Bible. There is often a lot of encouragement from the group to give them away, but I sense that sometimes people are pushing themselves further than they want to go.
I am here to tell you there are no rules for releasing clutter. Clearing space and living simply will bring many gifts into your life, AND you get to do it your way.
Guidelines are great, having a supportive coach experienced in this area is wonderful, but ultimately you need to follow your heart and find the level of simplicity that is right for you. Sometimes people are ready to jump in fully and for others it may be a process of one layer at a time.
Before starting a de-cluttering process I encourage you to spend time becoming clear about your intention and the vision you have for your end result. This intention can guide and motivate you along the way. And, if you would like additional support, find a friend, coach, or professional organizer who will hold you to your vision in a gentle, caring way.
You CAN do this! Your home can become a sanctuary that is clean, organized, and full of light. And, you can do it your way. Just imagine what that will feel like…
If you would like the support of a professional coach who loves to help people create more simple and fulfilling lives, I would love to offer you a free consultation. Contact Linda
Related Posts:
Is Tidying Up the Secret to Happiness?
How to Spark Joy in Your Life
A Sense of Order Soothes Your Soul
Don’t forget to leave a comment. I would love to hear what you have to say.
Christopher, Thomas, and Becca
Nothing prepared me for what was going to happen when my first grandchild was born. Friends would get these mysterious smiles and say, “Just wait, it will be wonderful.” They seemed transformed when they became grandmothers, beaming brightly as they obsessively shared pictures of their new family members everywhere they went.
And they were right. Becoming a grandmother was wonderful. More than wonderful.
Even though my oldest grandson is in college now, the moment I first saw him is branded in my heart and mind forever.
Everything fell away in that moment and my heart opened beyond anything I could have imagined. I was experiencing a miracle of life and love.
No more guarding and protecting my heart. No more sitting on the sidelines. I was in! All in!
The same feelings came forward when his sister and brother were born, but that first time was like a shock to my system because I didn’t know I could love that freely and at such a deep level. I hadn’t realized how big my heart really was.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my son more than anything, but we were separated when he was born because he was premature and didn’t get to experience those first magical moments together. And then, the struggle of being a single parent kept me busy and my upbringing in a family that didn’t show affection held me back. So even though I loved him more than life itself, I didn’t have the skills or freedom to demonstrate it at the time.
That is why being a grandmother is different than being a mom. We are free to just love without the daily stress and worries. We can see things from a broader perspective supported by our years of experience and our only job is to be there fully for these new precious beings that come into our lives.
Our role as grandmothers is not to be taken lightly. We are there to listen deeply and support in a way that is not clouded by day to day family living. I made a point of spending one on one time with each grandchild and listening carefully to what they had to say. They often revealed things they had kept to themselves or their parents didn’t have time to hear. They had more uninterrupted space in which to be heard and knew that they would be loved, no matter what they said or did.
There is a moment I remember when my grandchildren were young that symbolizes for me what being a grandma is about.
As I walked into their house for a visit, they all ran over to hug me at the same time and ended up knocking me down onto the floor. Their parents were yelling at them to stop and I remember looking up and trying to figure out what was wrong. Because I was in heaven. Pure bliss. Wrestled to the floor with love.
And that is why women seem to be transformed when they become grandmothers. T
Those little magical creatures we call babies and grandchildren are more powerful than you can ever imagine. They break through our armor, heal our hearts, and open them beyond anything we imagined possible. . And, that is something I will forever be grateful for.
If you are a grandmother, you know what I mean.
Related Posts:
Transform Your Anger, Pain, and Fear Into Something More Meaningful
The Gift of Writing Letters from the Heart
Please feel free to comment on this post. I would love to hear what you have to say about becoming a grandmother.
There are times when I hear myself or my clients or my friends say things like: I am confused. I am tired. I am sick. I am sad. I am overwhelmed. I bet you hear those words come out of your own mouth too.
Well, they simply aren’t true!
You may FEEL tired or sick or sad or whatever is going on at the time, but it is not who you are.
When you continuously reinforce those self-limiting labels by saying them over and over again, you program yourself into believing they are true.
So, use the words “I am” very carefully. They may be small, but carry incredible power.
And, if you want to know who you really are:
Sit in a quiet place with pen and paper and start writing, “I am …” Fill in the blank with whatever pops into your head. Keep writing until there is nothing left and you have reached the deepest truth. What most people find is that the first answers tend to be negative or superficial and the last connect with the more powerful spiritual truth of who they really are.
This exercise can be extremely grounding and also works well as a meditation where you simply say the words instead of writing them down. You may want to keep what you have written available for those times when you feel low and need to be reminded who you really are.
I am. You are.
You are not tired or overwhelmed.
You are wise. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are love.
And, that is the truth!
Related Posts:
Money is a touchy topic. Having money brings a sense of security and safety and allows us to keep up appearances so we feel more acceptable in the world around us. We can use it to look good and feel good, or even comfort ourselves when we are feeling low.
And yet, most of us feel some level of shame around it, even when we handle our money well.
Either we don’t feel we have enough or we judge ourselves for how we spend what we do have.
Feeling peaceful about money comes from using it in a way that is in alignment with your values and making conscious choices when you spend. It comes from finding the sweet spot between thrift and giving occasional gifts to yourself.
It is about discovering and preventing unconscious money leaks.
What usually happens though is that we get all fired up by someone’s expert marketing or something someone said and our mind convinces us that we “need” to buy things. Not necessarily big things. The little things add up too.
And in the end. we find ourselves with a lot of stuff we didn’t really need and probably don’t use.
How much could you have saved last year if you avoided these extra purchases? Let’s find out.
Get a notepad and pen and walk through your house listing everything you have purchased in the last year that:
Look in your closets, drawers, and on your shelves. You might be surprised what you find. When you have your list, go through and estimate how much money you spent on each item and then total them up.
Shocking isn’t it? Keep in mind that this is meant to open your eyes to new opportunities for saving money and no self-judgment is allowed. Everyone has money leaks.
The first step to changing our habits is awareness and just imagine how much money you can save this year by shifting this pattern. Make a new commitment to using your money in ways that do not allow advertisers or the people next door to run your financial life.
What about the things you bought last year? They have become clutter and don’t belong in your home. Selling or donating them can help you anchor what you have learned and reinforce your new decision to play with money in a way that is in alignment with your values and goals.
If you would like the support of an experienced professional life coach to help you improve your relationship with money and take control of your finances contact me (Linda) to schedule a complimentary consultation.
Related Posts:
A Sense of Order Soothes Your Soul
I have always felt drawn to living a simple life. It feels peaceful to me and helps calm my scattered mind.
At first living simply was a matter of necessity. I was a young single mother with limited resources and every penny counted. I could not acquire a lot of stuff and lived at a level based on needs with a few little extras thrown in.
Now, my simple lifestyle is a choice. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not perfect. I have “things”, but not as many as most people do. I gravitate toward light, color, room to move around in, and things that feel soft and snuggly.
I even joined the simple living movement and attended Simplicity Circles in the past, but there really wasn’t much interest and the groups eventually fell away.
That seems to be changing now as people are feeling more overwhelmed by crazy busy lives and brains that are overloaded. Clearing clutter, simple living, and minimalism are getting a lot of attention again.
Choosing to live simply is not about scarcity and living without. It is about discovering and focusing on what we find meaningful, beautiful, and useful. Our lives become full and rich because we have cleared the way to reveal what feeds our soul.
There are pros and cons to choosing a simple life, but as you can see by my list below, for me the scales are definitely tipped in one direction.
The Pros
The Cons
Living simply is not an all or nothing thing. You can try it out in a small way and if it feels good move forward at your own speed. If you are like me, each step you take will lead you to a more peaceful life.
In the meantime, you might enjoy these blogs about the simple life:
Hip Diggs
Don’t forget to comment! I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
The truth is, I think I was born a vegetarian. I can remember being a young girl and feeling sick to my stomach when I saw raw meat or bird bodies defrosting in the sink. My parents weren’t open to the idea of me eating differently and eventually I adapted and became an average American carnivore.
I used to love chicken pot pies and traditional Thanksgiving dinners.
And then, one day about 15 years ago I broke out in hives and had to go to the emergency room. The doctors thought it was a reaction to something I ate and suggested I get screened for allergies. It took a couple weeks to get an appointment and I didn’t want to risk getting hives again, so I began to research food and allergies on my own.
Along the way, I learned some really disturbing things about the foods we are sold and my heart guided me into a vegetarian lifestyle.
It felt like coming home.
While I have been a vegetarian for almost 2 decades, I am not a political one. I like my meat eating friends and family and it is not up to me to say what is right for them. I don’t go around introducing myself as “Linda the Vegetarian” and some of my friends may even be surprised when they read this.
What I do know is that being a vegetarian feels right for me on a soul level. It doesn’t feel like a decision I made, it feels like who I am.
There are other reasons why this lifestyle feels in alignment for me and might appeal to you:
If you are interested in learning more, these resources can get you started:
Movies: (most of these are available on Netflix)
Food Inc
Vegucated
Websites:
Vegsource
And, of course, there is always me. Just ask your questions in the comments below and I will be happy to respond.
Gratitude. It feels warm and fuzzy, but is powerful enough to rewire your brain. It is my go to strategy when feeling a lack of abundance and can literally change how you feel about life.
The trick is to stay tapped into it and let it integrate through your body, mind, and soul.
I used to have my clients write 5 things they are grateful for every day in order to connect with this thankful energy, but over time the practice began to feel stale. It became just another thing to do and the feeling connection to gratitude was lost.
Mixing things up helps.
All of these are great tools to spark a practice of thankfulness, but they only work when you take the time to really feel and fully integrate them.
In order to ground yourself in the warm, fuzzy, life is amazing, miracles happen, anything is possible energy of gratitude you must sit with it, give it your full attention, and let it fill your heart.
A gratitude practice is not something you do, it is something you feel.
When you let the awareness of blessings touch every moment of your life, you open the door to a life full of miracles.
My personal gratitude practice may look different from day to day. Yesterday, I was mesmerized by clouds and took a lot of pictures. The day before it was a meditation on all the special people in my life. And, as I write these words today, my heart is full of love and gratitude for all of you.
The one thing I do consistently as I lay my head on the pillow each night is to review my day with an open heart. I savor the day’s blessings, let go of what does not serve me, and thank God for all I have received.
No matter what is happening in your life, you have much to be grateful for, too. I invite you to focus on the gifts in your days and let them lift you up and fill your heart. It can be life changing.
Not too long ago I found myself feeling kind of low. I was in a funk. All I wanted to do was sit on the couch and read novels with a cat on my lap.
This felt great for a couple days, but eventually I knew I needed to get moving. I was turning into a slug and I wasn’t sure how to become human again.
As I drove into my garage one day after running an errand I could feel my energy drop. My garage felt heavy, like something that weighed me down. While mostly neat, piled along the left wall were all the things I was saving for a garage sale. Over time that area had become, shall I say, messy.
When I realized how yucky the garage made me feel, I knew what my therapy would be. I started going through the cluttered piles of things and after a couple hours of sorting, organizing, throwing away, and generally tidying up, I felt good about what I had accomplished. Even now, pulling into my nice and tidy garage makes me smile.
When our car, house, or office look uncared for it can be a sign that we are: Continue reading
I have a friend who everyone seems to love. She is of a mature age (trying to be polite here) and lives life in a responsible way. What makes her stand out, though is her penchant for wearing pink, sparkly high top sneakers. Everywhere. Even business meetings and church. She says they make her happy and remind her to sparkle. I’ve noticed that they also make the people around her smile.
My friend has tapped into her playful inner child.
I want what she has. She seems to feel lighter and happier than the rest of us. More care free. And, her sparkliness invites adventure, fun, and friendships into her life.
It’s easy to forget what it feels like to play. As an adult you have responsibilities and expectations to live up to. You are probably so busy doing what you think you have to do that you don’t even remember you have all that joy within. But, don’t worry. You inner child will never give up on you.
You can reconnect with her again through: Continue reading
It was a few days before my client would give her first presentation before a group and anxiety was starting to bubble up. She asked for my help in minimizing her fear before it boiled over. Continue reading
If you want to avoid impulse buying it may feel like the odds are stacked against you. Advertisers, stores, and even your peers are masters of hypnosis. They hypnotize you into believing your long term goals don’t matter and there is nothing more you want in the world than to buy their product.
You become their puppet, disconnected from who you really are and what you really want.
Unless, you utilize the following tips … Continue reading
Most everyone is familiar with the value of having a To Do list where you keep track of the projects and actions you intend to take. But, have you ever considered creating a Don’t Do list? Continue reading