You are a blessing to this world. Yes, you. That real authentic you that you sometimes try to hide because the world has taught you it’s not cool, beautiful, capable, lovable, or worthy enough.
The world lied. You ARE all of those things.
The picture above is one of my favorite pictures of me. I remember feeling very confident and alive in that moment.
Why? Because I had just jumped off a telephone pole.
I’m beginning to think that human beings are hard wired to focus on what is wrong. We have high expectations of ourselves, others, and the world in general and these expectations set us up to feel disappointed when they don’t come true.
Our minds are programmed to always look for what is wrong or what is missing and this keeps us grounded in the negative. When we think negative thoughts we feel bad and are not as effective as we could be.
There are a lot of disappointed and unhappy people out there. Are you one of them?
Most of us are talented dreamers. I know I am. My dreams range from real world goals to fantasies about traveling the U.S. in a motor home, bringing small broken down houses back to life, and doing things I’m not sure my body is up for anymore. Some are real desires and some are daydreams, but I love them all.
I’ve been writing in a journal on and off for years, but my commitment wasn’t as high as it is now.
It all started with the book, “The Artist’s Way” and being inspired by Julia Cameron’s recommendation to write 3 pages every morning. But, it never lasted very long. I would journal in fits and spurts, mostly when something was bothering me and then forget all about it.
I feel more committed now. In addition to writing what is on my mind I am using my journal as a tool to improve my life. I can feel it’s impact almost every day and can’t imagine life without it.
Everyone seems to be talking about downsizing, decluttering and tidying up these days. Many of you are feeling the weight of too much stuff. Actually, stuffocating. And, it may be impacting you in more ways than you know.
We all receive guidance from within. Whether you call it the voice of your heart, soul, or intuition, it is always there to support you.
There are times when you may find it difficult to connect with this inner wisdom or hear what it has to say. You can get caught up in your daily life or drama and rely on your inconsistent and fearful mind instead. It’s like letting a naughty toddler run the show.
Lot’s of space! Granite counter tops! Curb appeal! When looking for a new house it’s easy to get caught up in wanting more, more more.
If you have the perfect house your life inside it will be perfect too. Right? After all, the bank said you can afford it, and they should know. Really?
There is something stirring in the women around me. I hear it in my conversations with clients and friends. They describe feeling like they are on the edge of something new. Something that is calling to their hearts. Some know what it is and others are still waiting for the voice to become more clear.
When clients first come to me they usually have an issue they want to resolve or something they would like to create. They may want to:
And yet, when all said and done, they tell me there was something even more powerful and unexpected that came forward. The real gift was who they became through the process and how much they learned to love and value themselves.
My laptop is dying. It keeps freezing up and doing strange things. The good news is that it gave me some warning so I have a new one on the way while it is still working (barely).
It has been a few years since I bought a computer so I jumped into research mode. I searched Google for articles on what to look for, brand comparisons, and features I might want. And then, it was off to Amazon to check what was available and read all of the reviews on laptops I might consider. Continue reading
On this eve of Thanksgiving my thoughts are on all that I have to be thankful for and my heart is full. This afternoon, I will be playing Secret Turkey by putting messages of hope, gratitude and joy in mailboxes and on car windshields of people I don’t know.
Practicing thankfulness and gratitude are a part of my life all year, not just on Thanksgiving. There are studies that show gratitude practices can relieve depression, foster a sense of well-being, and even rewire your brain for happiness. If I start to feel low, the first thing I think of is refreshing my gratitude practice because I know it helps. Continue reading
I like to play with various challenges from time to time. It’s how I learn and grown. So, when someone at church suggested we practice thinking before we speak this week I was all in.
It was a good week for it, too. I had several conversations that needed to be handled carefully.
What I didn’t expect was how my focus on thoughtful speaking would make me feel. Continue reading
Feeling heard is a basic human need that far too many people go without. It can make or break relationships, save lives, and even prevent wars.
When someone is talking to you and you are distracted or not wanting to listen, they can tell. And, it hurts.
People who talk a lot, repeat themselves often, or get loud are usually not feeling heard or grew up feeling they didn’t have a voice. In challenging conversations, they will usually calm down once they know you have heard what they are trying to say and then move on to productive conversation.
Those who have suffered loss or are feeling upset don’t need sympathy or to hear your story; they need an opportunity to express themselves without interruption.
Listening is a cornerstone of communication and it is becoming a lost art. It is not about having an agenda or opinion, but about being focused, loving and safe for the other person in that moment.
But, what if what they have to say is negative or hurtful? What if they have a pattern of venting their issues or opinions at you all the time? What if you have a history with the other person that triggers pain and fear as they speak?
Taking care of yourself is always the first priority. If you do not feel safe or ready for the conversation, you are likely not the one meant to do the listening. At least, at this time.
Ultimately, you need to follow your heart. And, when you are able, giving the gift of Heart Centered Listening will be just as much for you as it is for the other person. In many cases these conversations end in huge shifts or breakthroughs. Even if they don’t, you will know that you have done a loving thing. And that, always feels good.
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“I can’t get no satisfaction, I can’t get no satisfaction
‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can’t get no, I can’t get no” – Mick Jagger
I’ve been feeling a bit like Mick Jagger lately and it’s my own fault. I’ve somehow slipped into a state of feeling unsatisfied with things in my life.
When people hear that I choose to live simply they shake their heads and say they could never survive a simple life. In their minds they are picturing life in a cabin with one chair, one plate, and one fork. Or, a house that is cold, colorless, empty, and devoid of personality. And then, they imagine having to wear old, worn, and frumpy thrift store clothes, maybe even pioneer dresses. To them simple living sounds like a nightmare.
But, the truth is, it’s nothing like that at all. Continue reading
I’ve had puppyitis for quite awhile now, spending way too much time looking at available dogs on rescue group websites. This craving has been around for awhile and I finally decided the only way to cure it was to give in.
I inquired about a couple dogs online and was invited to meet them at Petsmart when the rescue group would be there. The primary candidates were a maltipoo and a lab/terrier mix and I was assured they met my requirements of being house trained and good with cats.
That morning I was nervous, but became calm after journaling. I reminded myself that getting a dog from a rescue group is like saving a life, because when you adopt one it makes room for one more to be saved.
My daughter-in-law, Alexis, came with me for moral support and to keep me from doing anything really crazy. During the drive there I was reviewing the two dogs in my mind trying to decide what to do.
And then, in a moment of clarity, my inner voice said – “It’s never what you think it will be.”
Sure enough. You might have noticed in the pictures I definitely didn’t bring home a maltipoo or lab mix. She looks suspiciously like a beagle. The maltipoo looked unhealthy, was chewing his legs, and when I put him down he peed to mark his territory several times. (Don’t ever buy anything off the bottom shelves at Petsmart.)
Meanwhile, there was my little Daisy looking very cute and sweet. She had just been spayed the day before and wasn’t feeling well, but when they opened her crate she came right to me.
It’s never what you think it will be.
I was concerned about getting a dog that would be hard on my cats, but that’s definitely not the case with Daisy. She was terrified of THEM! When Daisy first saw Chloe she shrieked and ran.
It’s never what you think it will be.
It’s been 5 days now and I have had my moments of wondering why I ever wanted a dog. There has been a lot of work with potty training (it appears she wasn’t trained after all), inter-species relationships, and separation anxiety. She has also seemed depressed and would cower when told no or if I moved too fast.
Today she pottys on walks well (but, won’t go in her own yard), is getting along better with the cats every day, and having brief moments of playfulness.
And, I have fallen in love.
It’s never what you think it will be.
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My special friend – Little Momma
I am feeling nostalgic about my journey from California to Missouri in 2016. A lot has happened since then and I am very happy in my new town where I am close to my family and feel connected to the community.
A few weeks ago I moved again to another house just blocks from the first one. I have great neighbors, a beautiful view, and the house has great bones. I am currently in decorating mode and keep staring at samples of paint colors on my walls, hoping I will make a decision soon. Continue reading
I’ve been to a lot of seminars over the years. Some were great, some were okay, and some of them made me feel uncomfortable. The ones I didn’t like usually involved pressure to buy, sell, or do something out of your comfort zone in order to be accepted.
It’s interesting to watch these charismatic seminar leaders in action. They make a lot of money doing this and are experts at building momentum and get people fired up.
They create a sense of urgency, use peer pressure, and sometimes shaming language: Continue reading
I’ve been a life coach for 15 years now. That is a long time. And, during that time I have witnessed transformations, courage, and deep pain as I supported people through the challenges in their lives.
When people ask what my niche or focus is I feel lost because I work with whatever challenges people bring to me – divorce, career, life threatening illness, restlessness, relationships, stress, simplifying their lives, confidence, self-care, creating something new, etc. You name it and I’ve probably coached it. And, I’ve loved it all.
The truth is – I don’t coach specific problems, I coach people. I believe that the issue isn’t necessarily the issue. It’s what lies beneath that matters. Continue reading