We all have patterns in our lives. Long lines of experiences and lessons that cause us to believe certain things are true. They can lead us into the dark alley of always/never thinking that closes the door to possibilities.
Years ago when I was having a hard time at my job I looked for ways that would help me stay more positive. And, in integrity. I was upset about things that were happening and could feel myself being pulled in the direction of talking behind someone’s back.
You are a blessing to this world. Yes, you. That real authentic you that you sometimes try to hide because the world has taught you it’s not cool, beautiful, capable, lovable, or worthy enough.
The world lied. You ARE all of those things.
My client had a very clear goal. She wanted to find a man to share her life with. She called this goal “finding the one”.
We started with some foundation and discovery work about what she was looking for, open to, and defining her deal breakers. But, it didn’t take long before I realized that she was engaged in a cycle of self sabotage.
Over the years I have talked to a lot of people who were feeling upset or experiencing emotional pain. While their stories may be different, there seems to be a common thread.
The picture above is one of my favorite pictures of me. I remember feeling very confident and alive in that moment.
Why? Because I had just jumped off a telephone pole.
I would like to believe I’m a patient person. After all, I’ve raised a child, potty trained a dog, and witnessed the growth of my clients with respect for their own process and timing.
But, lately I’ve been feeling frustrated because reality is not matching up with my expectations.
For many of you, the only lists you write are To Do lists that end up being fuel for self judgement when the endless items don’t magically get done. So, I can understand if you weren’t that interested in reading this post about lists.
One of my clients this morning was reflecting on how her life took a surprising turn that led to something wonderful and new.
She was laid off last year, just a few months before her fully funded retirement. She was angry, terrified, and felt like all had been lost.
We have all experienced it. Spinning minds that seem to take control and make us feel a little crazy.
It could be about a decision you are trying to make.
Problem solving or ideas for something new
Replaying how someone hurt you or something that went wrong
Or, fear trying to stop you from moving forward.
I’m beginning to think that human beings are hard wired to focus on what is wrong. We have high expectations of ourselves, others, and the world in general and these expectations set us up to feel disappointed when they don’t come true.
Our minds are programmed to always look for what is wrong or what is missing and this keeps us grounded in the negative. When we think negative thoughts we feel bad and are not as effective as we could be.
There are a lot of disappointed and unhappy people out there. Are you one of them?
Most of us are talented dreamers. I know I am. My dreams range from real world goals to fantasies about traveling the U.S. in a motor home, bringing small broken down houses back to life, and doing things I’m not sure my body is up for anymore. Some are real desires and some are daydreams, but I love them all.
I’ve been writing in a journal on and off for years, but my commitment wasn’t as high as it is now.
It all started with the book, “The Artist’s Way” and being inspired by Julia Cameron’s recommendation to write 3 pages every morning. But, it never lasted very long. I would journal in fits and spurts, mostly when something was bothering me and then forget all about it.
I feel more committed now. In addition to writing what is on my mind I am using my journal as a tool to improve my life. I can feel it’s impact almost every day and can’t imagine life without it.
Everyone seems to be talking about downsizing, decluttering and tidying up these days. Many of you are feeling the weight of too much stuff. Actually, stuffocating. And, it may be impacting you in more ways than you know.
We all receive guidance from within. Whether you call it the voice of your heart, soul, or intuition, it is always there to support you.
There are times when you may find it difficult to connect with this inner wisdom or hear what it has to say. You can get caught up in your daily life or drama and rely on your inconsistent and fearful mind instead. It’s like letting a naughty toddler run the show.
I’ve noticed lately that when I have trouble going to sleep it’s usually because my mind is very active. It’s as if a thought or story has triggered it into a hyper state that keeps me from relaxing enough to fall asleep.
As I became more aware of this pattern, I could actually feel the moment my mind clicked in and grabbed onto something that would take it, and me, down the rabbit hole.
I decided to practice letting go of the thoughts in that moment and not let them become fully engaged. It’s working really well.
Lot’s of space! Granite counter tops! Curb appeal! When looking for a new house it’s easy to get caught up in wanting more, more more.
If you have the perfect house your life inside it will be perfect too. Right? After all, the bank said you can afford it, and they should know. Really?
It’s been a couple years since I moved from Southern California to a small town in Missouri. We are having a rough winter here with record breaking snowfall and temps. There was even a polar vortex this week that brought the temperature to 34 below zero with the windchill factored in. It was really, really cold!
There is something stirring in the women around me. I hear it in my conversations with clients and friends. They describe feeling like they are on the edge of something new. Something that is calling to their hearts. Some know what it is and others are still waiting for the voice to become more clear.
When clients first come to me they usually have an issue they want to resolve or something they would like to create. They may want to:
And yet, when all said and done, they tell me there was something even more powerful and unexpected that came forward. The real gift was who they became through the process and how much they learned to love and value themselves.