The holiday season can be pretty crazy with gifts to buy, food to make, and events to attend. Sometimes they can keep you so busy that you never quite get into the feeling of what the holidays should be. When that happens, try one of these ideas to bring some sanity into this time of year. Continue reading
Sometimes, even the words “to do list” can bring up feelings of dread. These lists often symbolize what we see as failures, incompletions, and expectations not met. But is that really true? It’s possible we might be looking at to do lists all wrong.
How we perceive things impacts our experience of them and sometimes our perception about these lists is not the truth of what they really are.
To do lists are simply tools for remembering and organizing things we want to do.
While most of my coaching happens with clients over a period of time, there are some things that can be handled more quickly. You may have specific questions, be unable to afford ongoing coaching, or just want an hour of compassionate support.
I want to be able to serve you, too.
Things move pretty fast in our world these days and that means we are moving fast too. In order to keep up we may feel we have to act and respond quickly to what is before us. And, that can be a problem.
We end up reacting to what is happening in the moment. We react instead of respond, and we do it without taking time to check within for what we really, really, really want.
As we enter the month of September, I am anticipating the transition from summer to fall. When I lived in California there was little evidence of seasons changing and I was not tuned into these cycles of nature. Now that I have moved to Missouri, I live by them.
We, as humans, are wired to be problem solvers. This is a skill that has helped us survive both collectively and as individuals. When one challenge is resolved we look for the next thing to work on.
This not only keeps us in fix it mode but can also cause a negative bias toward our lives and the world we live in. There is always something wrong or something to fix. We forget to celebrate what is going well, gratitude for those who have helped or the magical moments and beauty of daily life. We are too busy looking for the next problem and exaggerating its importance.
In the 8 years since I moved from CA I have lived in two houses, weathered a pandemic, adopted a dog and become a great-grandmother. Life is keeping me busy.
To honor the anniversary of my move, I thought it might be nice to share the series of posts I wrote about it all in one place.
I’ve coached several people looking to make a similar change and I know there are many more who are considering it. This story can help you know if a this type of move is right for you.
It’s also an opportunity to share about the small town that welcomed me and that I’ve grown to love.
So here they are. I hope you enjoy them and if there is someone you know who is considering a similar move, please pass this post on to them. It may help.
There is still a lot of confusion about what life coaches do. Even coaches have trouble explaining it. And, everyone seems to be a coach these days. How confusing is that?
In general, a professionally qualified life coach will listen carefully and provide support, perspective, guidance, tools, motivation, accountability, and champion you in creating what you want in life.
Most clients work with a life coach because they: Continue reading
It’s easy to get upset in our interactions with others. They can say things we take wrong or even intend to hurt us. On the flip side, we can feel bad if we unintentionally hurt someone else or feel misunderstood.
These are signs that we are taking things personally.
I think we can all agree that our lives today are full of distractions. We are so busy doing that we lose touch with our ability to just be. It leaves us living surface level, task oriented lives instead of being able to savor the moments we are given.
Money is one of those subjects that can bring out the best and the worst in us. It can be seductive, shameful, and trigger all of our emotional “stuff” more than just about anything in life.
Fear is one of the most common things my clients talk about when the subject of money comes up. Sometimes it’s warranted, but even when doing well many are haunted by images of becoming bag ladies living on the street.
As the new year approaches I am thinking about what I would like to create in my life for the next trip around the sun. Some may call it goal setting, but my way of thinking about goals and bringing things to life has evolved over the years.
When I was younger, I was very committed to SMART goals and resolutions, and they served me well at the time. I excelled in my work, bought a home and generally improved my life. In later years, as I studied coaching and psychology and worked with more people, the potential downside of this method became more clear.
We all have years where we are in denial or have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. When that has happened to me I have always regretted it later, so, I make sure to nurture the Christmas spirit in my heart. Here are some of my favorite ways to do so.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the drama, reacting to what is happening and feeling like you need to defend or protect yourself. The story of what is happening may even become amplified in your mind when it triggers fears, pain or echoes a past negative experience. But, the extra upset you create only hurts you and keeps you distracted from resolution.
Resolving things that feel upsetting happens best when you can be in a calm and rational state. When your energy is neutral you can be more thoughtful, open and find solutions for the issue at hand. Easier said then done. Right?
Keep in mind – It’s how you relate to the issue that matters most.
When we are grounded, we feel centered, strong, aligned, and connected to our inner wisdom. It brings a calm confidence that empowers us and allows us to operate as our best selves.
Life can sometimes unsettle us and pull us from our natural grounded state. When it does this, we may notice that we are not feeling or doing our best. Everything may seem harder and our inner resources can be depleted.
When life isn’t working for you and just about everything feels off, it is a good sign that you may be living out of alignment with your authentic self. All of us are to some degree, but when you choose to embrace authenticity your life can be transformed.
Here is how:
There was a time in my life when I felt like I couldn’t even remember who I was. After years where I survived scary things as a child, was in an abusive relationship, grieved a man I loved and pushed myself to the limits as a single mom I was exhausted. I just put one foot in front of the other and never even considered there might be more to life.
As a coach, I talk to women experiencing the same thing almost every day. Sometimes it’s a life transition like menopause or an empty nest that helps them realize there are better things than what they are experiencing. And sometimes their soul calls out to them asking for change. Whatever the catalyst is, they begin to realize that there is hope, they can make choices and in order to thrive they need to listen to the calling of their heart.
Decision fatigue comes when we find ourselves having to evaluate and make choices over and over again. We make more decisions in one day than previous generations ever had to and to be honest it can be quite tiring.
Many of the choices we make each day are the same ones we made the day before. What to eat. What to wear. When to go to bed. What if there was a way to simplify the number of daily decisions and leave more space in our brains for other, more important things?
I believe that it is important to review and close out the year that is ending to learn all that we can from it. Doing so also lays the foundation for our dreams and plans in the coming year. This simple year end process opens the door to a deeper understanding of the gifts and challenges we experienced last year and supports heartfelt intentions and goals for the New Year.
The period of completion after an uncomfortable experience is not just about resolution, it is also a time of transition. When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to integrate the lessons we have learned. Continue reading