I love a good story. In fact, I’m pretty good at making them up in my head, but sometimes they have a dark side. The negative ones are about not being enough, what is and isn’t possible for me, scary futures, being victimized, and what I need to do to be accepted in this world. I call them negative fantasies.
I know where they come from. They are based on residue from my past, sensitive areas that are easily triggered and belief systems that try to hold me back. If I allow myself to slide into these negative stories they will impact how I feel, what I believe, and almost everything I do.
And the craziest thing is, they aren’t even true.
They are simply one of the many ways that I make my life harder than it needs to be.
You have things you think or do that make life unnecessarily hard, too. We are in this together.
But there is hope.
When we catch these patterns more quickly and shift them, everything feels lighter. Softer. More possible.
And the first step in shifting them is recognizing them for what they truly are, a threat to your well-being. Here are 5 common ways we humans make life feel hard.
Resisting What’s True
We spend too much energy fighting reality, wishing things were different or trying to control what we can’t. But resistance creates tension. Acceptance is what creates space.
Indulging Negative Fantasies
We don’t just have negative thoughts; we build entire stories around them. We replay, expand, and emotionally live inside situations that may never happen.
Taking Things Personally
Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves, not us. Or something in their lives has just made them unkind. Yet we believe them and interpret their words and actions as reflections of our worth.
Judging Ourselves Harshly
Our inner voice can be far more critical than anyone else. We disempower ourselves when we expect perfection, people-please, bully ourselves with negative self-talk or buy into what other people say about us.
Worrying About Things That Never Happen
We spend a large percentage of our lives preparing for futures that never arrive. All that time, feeling upset, and health issues that come from it, but none of it changes the outcome.
Do any of these ring true for you? If so, don’t resist it, judge yourself or worry. I encourage you to see this as an opportunity to shift these patterns of thinking and bring more freedom into your life.
Just imagine what would be possible if you did!
So how do we begin to feel lighter?
It starts with awareness.
You can’t shift what you don’t see.
From there:
- Gently redirect your thoughts when you notice them spiraling
- Ground yourself in the present moment, what’s actually true right now
- Set a simple intention for how you want to feel and what you will shift
- Take heart-centered action aligned with that intention
Lightness isn’t about having a perfect life.
It’s about releasing what was never yours to carry in the first place.
And that’s something you can begin doing right now.
Recommended Journaling Prompts (These can be used as a process)
- What is causing me to feel upset?
- What thoughts am I having about the situation?
- Are they true? Can I be absolutely sure?
- How do they make me feel?
- Do I want to continue thinking those thoughts or shift to something more uplifting?
- What would I like to focus on instead?
- What would that feel like?
- Am I ready and willing to commit to this healthier way of thinking?
- What word, phrase or signal can I use in the future to help me shift thoughts quickly?
Related Posts:
Riding the Waves of Our Emotions
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