We all have dreams and desires that may not be possible at the present moment, but what do you do when something you really, really want can’t happen.
One of my clients contacted me because she wanted to move to a small town in the midwest, but her husband didn’t feel he could leave his high earning job at the time. The small town idea was stuck in her mind and she just couldn’t shake it. After we confirmed the reality of her situation, I asked her what she thought it would be like to live in a small town. She painted a beautiful picture of a simple life with a close-knit community that reminded me of a Hallmark movie. It was lovely.
I then asked her how she would feel in that life. She used words like peaceful, grounded and connected. I shared with her that there were other ways to bring those feelings into her life. Since that time, she has created more community in her neighborhood and brought in more components of her “small town life” to the one she currently lives. She feels more peaceful, grounded and connected right where she is at. AND, she is still likely to make that move in the future when her husband is ready.
When what we want feels out of reach, it’s easy to get stuck in mourning what we can’t have. But, the truth is that we can.
Because, what we really want is the feelings it will bring.
When you identify the desired feelings beneath the dream, you can give yourself the gift of creating them in your life now.
Here is a quick process for doing that. It would work well as a journaling exercise.
What am I wanting that I can’t have right now?
Is it true that I can’t have it?
What would it be like once that dream came true?
How would it make me feel?
How else can I bring those feelings into my life?
What plan can I create for doing that?
When we want something we can’t have, we don’t have to give up hope. We can get creative and help ourselves feel good now. For many of us, this will actually be the first step in making those dreams come true in our future.
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Thank you Linda for this post. I love reading many of your posts and I have been following you for years! Back when I was attending University of Santa Monica i think that’s when we met online. You have great insights and also great ideas for where to start on my journey for the day! Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am going through some huge changes right now in my life and it really helps to read your blog and your stories. (i knew you back when you were living in California and thinking of moving…) sending hugs from Los Angeles, CA!