Lately, I’ve caught myself complaining about the weather, and I can’t stand the sound of it in my own voice. The weather has been bitterly cold and since my dog’s bladder leads us out walking a few times a day, I can say with confidence this is the truth.
I’m all for speaking the truth and I’m also aware that we can color our truths with perceptions, stories we tell ourselves and slants towards the negative. When my truth adds a bit of whine to my voice, it annoys me. And, if it annoys me, it probably bothers the people around me as well.
I think of myself as a generally positive person and understand that just about everyone who lives where there is snow and ice in winter is probably whining about it right now. I also know that there are consequences for dwelling on what doesn’t feel good.
The tone of how we think and speak can leave a lasting impact. If we think something feels bad, our brains will go into search mode looking for evidence that supports our point of view.
It can then fall into a cycle of repetition that feeds you that information over and over again. It’s like fake news for our minds – once you hear something enough, you start believing it even if it’s not true.
Over time our brains can get stuck in these repetitive patterns and this constant cycle starts to shape who we are. If you have ever noticed people who only see the negative side of life, it’s likely because their brains have been programmed that way. Especially older people who have been marinating in those thoughts for years.
This can be good or bad news, depending on what you choose to do with it.
Psychologists have found that our thoughts are the predecessors of our feelings and how we feel determines our actions. So, when you shift your negative thoughts, you improve your moods and what you create in your life.
Complaining is one of the ways you get stuck in negative thinking. When we complain we can get stuck in a mental rut – unable to break free from the cycle of negativity.
Complaining:
- Makes you feel bad
- Keeps you in a state of victimhood
- Disempowers you
- Keeps you stuck
- Locks in negative pathways in your brain
- Can damage your relationships
- Makes people want to avoid you
- Creates limiting belief systems and a negative worldview
When we allow a pattern of complaining into our lives, we are inviting these things to take root and grow within us. Yes, bad things do happen, but we can honor our feelings without staying stuck in them.
When I heard myself complaining about the weather more than once I knew it was time to take action. I chose to simply interrupt the pattern and reframe my thinking. You can do the same.
Step 1: Interrupting the pattern
When you catch yourself complaining, pause. Don’t dwell in the negative. Take a breath and let it go.
Step 2: Reframing your thinking
Shift your thoughts to something positive. It doesn’t have to be on the same subject. Start thinking about something that makes you smile or do something productive that moves you forward.
If complaining or a negative view of the world feel like an ongoing challenge in your life, I suggest starting a gratitude practice that can uplift your moods and shift your thinking over time.
This can include writing things you are grateful for every day, looking for heart shapes around you, taking pictures of what you find beautiful or spending time in thankful prayer.
It’s nice to not have that whiny voice following me around anymore. I don’t miss it at all. The energy I was spending on what I didn’t like is now available to focus on what I love or want to create, and I feel much better.
I encourage you to imagine what might be possible for you if you weren’t surrounded by the energy of complaints, not just for today, but for your entire lifetime.
It could be amazing!
Related Posts:
How to Stop Taking Things Personally
Questions to Ask Yourself When Something or Someone Upsets You