Things move pretty fast in our world these days and that means we are moving fast too. In order to keep up we may feel we have to act and respond quickly to what is before us. And, that can be a problem.
We end up reacting to what is happening in the moment. We react instead of respond, and we do it without taking time to check within for what we really, really, really want.
In the 8 years since I moved from CA I have lived in two houses, weathered a pandemic, adopted a dog and become a great-grandmother. Life is keeping me busy.
To honor the anniversary of my move, I thought it might be nice to share the series of posts I wrote about it all in one place.
I’ve coached several people looking to make a similar change and I know there are many more who are considering it. This story can help you know if a this type of move is right for you.
It’s also an opportunity to share about the small town that welcomed me and that I’ve grown to love.
So here they are. I hope you enjoy them and if there is someone you know who is considering a similar move, please pass this post on to them. It may help.
I think we can all agree that our lives today are full of distractions. We are so busy doing that we lose touch with our ability to just be. It leaves us living surface level, task oriented lives instead of being able to savor the moments we are given.
Money is one of those subjects that can bring out the best and the worst in us. It can be seductive, shameful, and trigger all of our emotional “stuff” more than just about anything in life.
Fear is one of the most common things my clients talk about when the subject of money comes up. Sometimes it’s warranted, but even when doing well many are haunted by images of becoming bag ladies living on the street.
We all have years where we are in denial or have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. When that has happened to me I have always regretted it later, so, I make sure to nurture the Christmas spirit in my heart. Here are some of my favorite ways to do so.
When life isn’t working for you and just about everything feels off, it is a good sign that you may be living out of alignment with your authentic self. All of us are to some degree, but when you choose to embrace authenticity your life can be transformed.
Here is how:
There was a time in my life when I felt like I couldn’t even remember who I was. After years where I survived scary things as a child, was in an abusive relationship, grieved a man I loved and pushed myself to the limits as a single mom I was exhausted. I just put one foot in front of the other and never even considered there might be more to life.
As a coach, I talk to women experiencing the same thing almost every day. Sometimes it’s a life transition like menopause or an empty nest that helps them realize there are better things than what they are experiencing. And sometimes their soul calls out to them asking for change. Whatever the catalyst is, they begin to realize that there is hope, they can make choices and in order to thrive they need to listen to the calling of their heart.
Decision fatigue comes when we find ourselves having to evaluate and make choices over and over again. We make more decisions in one day than previous generations ever had to and to be honest it can be quite tiring.
Many of the choices we make each day are the same ones we made the day before. What to eat. What to wear. When to go to bed. What if there was a way to simplify the number of daily decisions and leave more space in our brains for other, more important things?
I believe that it is important to review and close out the year that is ending to learn all that we can from it. Doing so also lays the foundation for our dreams and plans in the coming year. This simple year end process opens the door to a deeper understanding of the gifts and challenges we experienced last year and supports heartfelt intentions and goals for the New Year.
I don’t have the bumper sticker, but I am one of those people who brakes for garage sales. Hunting for hidden treasures is something I have always enjoyed. It probably goes back to my roots of wearing thrift store clothes as a kid and how much fun it was to find something I loved.
In more recent years I’ve become more selective about what I buy and often come home empty handed. What I enjoy now is looking and visiting with the people there. My dog Daisy loves to join me on these adventures and is pretty good at soliciting lots of pets and attention.
I’m often drawn to people who have a sense of quiet confidence and serenity about them. They seem to move through the world differently, like there is a river of strength, capability and peace running through them.
I want to be more like that.
And, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.
Whenever we grow or heal or improve ourselves we move closer to this sense of strength and peace within. Serenity is our natural state and the things that keep us in stress, anxiety and overwhelm are simply covering it up. The path to deep serenity is one of loving ourselves and letting go of what no longer serves us. It is a lifelong journey.
While we travel this healing journey toward peace, we also find ourselves craving serenity in our daily lives. Every time we listen to that call and focus on a more peaceful way of being we take one step closer to our authentic serene selves.
I’ve recently returned to the practice of journaling gratitude at the end of each day. I was feeling off center and a bit ungrounded and this is something that has worked for me in the past. It has been one of my favorite practices since Oprah talked about it decades ago and recent studies have shown it improves mood and well-being.
Even when our days feel good, there is always room for improvement. It doesn’t mean you have to put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that can brighten your day the most.
Here are some simple and easy ways to make your days feel great:
I am not a lover of clutter. It seems the older I get the more suffocated I feel when things start to accumulate. I crave space, breathing room, and love knowing exactly where everything is. Don’t get me wrong. My house is not always clean and I’m not anywhere near OCD, but opening a closet or cupboard and being able to see each item clearly with plenty of open space feels peaceful to me.
Many of the people I talk to as a Life Coach tell me they wish they had less clutter in their homes. It comes up so often it feels like a cultural trend. When they are working on clearing out stuff, one of the things they often get stuck on is getting rid of unused or unloved gifts. They seem to feel a sense of obligation to display or keep whatever has been given to them.
In the midst of our commercial world there is a quiet movement toward minimalism and simplicity. People are realizing that the drive to have more and more stuff, compare and keep up with others and try to cover their emotional pain with shopping sprees is not the answer.
They have frantically pursued shiny objects they thought would make them happy while burying their awareness that this way of life was harming their health, putting them in debt and causing them to stuffocate.
The question is: What is enough?
We all have dreams and desires that may not be possible at the present moment, but what do you do when something you really, really want can’t happen.
One of my clients contacted me because she wanted to move to a small town in the midwest, but her husband didn’t feel he could leave his high earning job at the time. The small town idea was stuck in her mind and she just couldn’t shake it. After we confirmed the reality of her situation, I asked her what she thought it would be like to live in a small town. She painted a beautiful picture of a simple life with a close-knit community that reminded me of a Hallmark movie. It was lovely.
How do you start your mornings? It’s easy to fall into the habit of letting negative thoughts lead the way. For many, their first thoughts are about what hurts, what they “have to” do that day, or rehashing something negative that has happened. You and I are likely to fall into that trap occasionally too, but we know there is a better way. And, it begins with morning habits that help you start your day right.
After all, how you start your day will impact how you feel and perform throughout the day.
For those of you who don’t know, this is Daisy. Today is the 3rd anniversary of her adoption day and I am grateful that she has come into my life. Daisy is my first dog so I had a lot to learn. I had always wanted one, but lived in apartments and condos for years and didn’t feel I had the right space. Once I moved to a home with a yard the time just felt right.
We’ve had a lot of adventures together and I’ve learned a lot from this little girl who seems to have taken over my life.
Here are a few of the top lessons:
I used to have a shopping addiction. This might surprise you because I am known for being a bit frugal and living within my means, but the truth is I would often go shopping whether I needed something or not. I would shop for all the wrong reasons: