It has been clear to me for a long time that the words we use impact our feelings and actions. I write about it, coach it, and practice re-framing limiting language in my own life. But, studying to become a Certified Hypnotherapist brought my understanding to a whole new level. Continue reading
For some of us, including me, saying “no” can be challenging. We want to help and please, sometimes to our own detriment. I personally believe that most of us are way to busy these days and not honoring the time and space needed for ourselves to stay grounded and whole.
It’s important to be clear when enough is enough for you and honor those boundaries. And so, I thought I would share 50 ways that we can say no in a graceful and respectful way.
But first, I have a some tips that will help you say no successfully: Continue reading
Every day is a gift. A blank slate to write on. The choices you make in the first moments after waking up can impact your energy, effectiveness, and mood for the entire day. I am a big fan of morning practices and encourage you to create one of your own.
Here are some fun ideas for starting your morning off right: Continue reading
My simple summer wardrobe. Jeans are on the shelf above.
I had a lot of clothes. Many of them didn’t fit or seem to go with anything else in my closet.
Can you relate?
I’ve never been a big shopper, but my passion for finding deals tripped me up. Instead of having nice outfits to wear, I had a bunch of budget clothing misfits and a lot of closet clutter. Continue reading
Life challenges of any size can cause us to be reactive and clutter our mind with dis-empowering thoughts. Sometimes, we feel like we can’t even think at all, even though these are the most important times to see things clearly and respond wisely.
The following steps are ones I created for my clients and myself to focus on when we face life challenges. They have worked well for us and I hope they will prove valuable for you, too. Continue reading
We are happiest when our lives are in alignment with our core values. Living this way nurtures what is most meaningful to us and allows us to feel more peaceful, grounded, and fulfilled. Anything that conflicts with our values will create more stress and dissonance in our lives. Continue reading
For some reason, anxiety has been a big subject with my coaching clients this week. Maybe it is the time of year or something in the air, but it seems like a lot of people are feeling anxious.
That makes it the perfect time to share some of my strategies for stopping anxiety in it’s tracks.
4 Count Breathing – With the exception of real emergencies, anxiety is usually about something that may happen in the future or a reaction to something you already experienced. Focusing on your breathing brings you back to the peaceful present moment. And, since your mind can only focus on one thing at a time, counting blocks out the thoughts that feed your anxious moments. It goes like this:
Take a deep breath in as you slowly count to 4
Hold your breath for a count of 4
Breathe out slowly to the count of 4
Pause before your next breath to the count of 4
Challenge Your Anxiety – Most of what worries you never really happens. It is probably not even true. Your mind just takes you on a wild ride of creative bad scenarios. I know mine sure does. When this happens, ask yourself the following questions to bring your focus back into reality:
Give It To God – Many of the things that cause anxiety are not in your control. So, what would happen if you just let the Big Guy handle them? Let him know you are going to put the issue in his hands and will check in with him after a certain period of time. And then, set the issue out of your mind until it is time to check in. It is amazing how well this can work.
I give my concerns over to God every night before I go to sleep. This not only allows for a good night of rest, but can be an excellent preventive measure in the battle with anxiety. I often wake up with the worrisome situation being resolved or the solutions given to me. Sometimes, I just no longer care as it has lost it’s power over me.
Make Friends with It – Anxiety can feel like a big, powerful thing that has control over you, but that is just not true. Many things that trigger anxious thoughts were installed in us when we were little and vulnerable and everything felt more powerful than it was.
When you see anxiety for what it really is you can relate to it in a different way. Even make friends with it. Some of my clients give their anxiety names like Minnie Mouse, Cookie Monster, or Jumpy George. Doing this facilitates seeing it in a different, less controlling way.
When it shows up, talk to it. Thank it for offering to help and let it know that you are all grown up now and have things under control. Have a nice little chat with your new friend and then give him a new assignment, like Protector of Peace or Facilitator of Fun.
Audit Your Input – What you put into your mind and body can contribute to either peace or anxiety. I am often surprised when clients who drink a lot of caffeine or energy drinks don’t realize that this can contribute to their feeling anxious. You can cultivate more peace within by drinking calming teas and allowing your body and mind to work at their normal capacity.
Another way you can set yourself up for feeling tense and worried is by reading or watching movies and shows that are full of violence or tense energy, especially before bed. If these are your preferred forms of entertainment give yourself a cushion between them and your bed time to let your body and mind calm down. Even better than that, switch to more peaceful, fun, or meaningful entertainment. I once read that our bodies react to violence we watch or read as if it is really happening. Do you really want to put yourself through that?
Practice Peaceful Habits – Creating habits and practices that support your calm and well-being can lead to an anxiety free life. Let go of what no longer serves you and bring in people and things that feed your soul. Many of my clients find that simplifying their lives by de-cluttering and learning to say no make a big difference. Others, will swear that exercise, art, meditation, prayer, yoga, or music have minimized the anxiety in their lives. Find what works for you and make a commitment to doing it regularly.
These tool have proven successful for my clients and myself. I am confident that they can help you too. Go ahead, give them a try. You will find more peace when you do.
If you would like coaching support to deal with the anxiety in your life, I would love to help. Contact Me
Related posts:
3 Steps for Successfully Navigating Life Challenges
Rewire Your Brain to Feel More Positive
The truth is, I think I was born a vegetarian. I can remember being a young girl and feeling sick to my stomach when I saw raw meat or bird bodies defrosting in the sink. My parents weren’t open to the idea of me eating differently and eventually I adapted and became an average American carnivore.
I used to love chicken pot pies and traditional Thanksgiving dinners.
And then, one day about 15 years ago I broke out in hives and had to go to the emergency room. The doctors thought it was a reaction to something I ate and suggested I get screened for allergies. It took a couple weeks to get an appointment and I didn’t want to risk getting hives again, so I began to research food and allergies on my own.
Along the way, I learned some really disturbing things about the foods we are sold and my heart guided me into a vegetarian lifestyle.
It felt like coming home.
While I have been a vegetarian for almost 2 decades, I am not a political one. I like my meat eating friends and family and it is not up to me to say what is right for them. I don’t go around introducing myself as “Linda the Vegetarian” and some of my friends may even be surprised when they read this.
What I do know is that being a vegetarian feels right for me on a soul level. It doesn’t feel like a decision I made, it feels like who I am.
There are other reasons why this lifestyle feels in alignment for me and might appeal to you:
If you are interested in learning more, these resources can get you started:
Movies: (most of these are available on Netflix)
Food Inc
Vegucated
Websites:
Vegsource
And, of course, there is always me. Just ask your questions in the comments below and I will be happy to respond.
Twitter is not usually my thing, but one of my clients told me about a hashtag stream of people offering their 3 word suggestions on how to make life better. I found many of the posts inspiring and thought you might too.
Here is what they had to say: Continue reading
Persistence comes in handy. Without it I never would have the success I have today or even have figured out what was wrong with my printer this morning.
I’ve used persistence to help find answers when they were elusive and often felt inspired by Marie Forleo’s message that “everything is figureoutable”.
But then, something happened that made me realize choosing not to try and figure things out can also be an empowering choice. Here’s how it went down: Continue reading
Your brain is a great tool, but sometimes your mind can drive you crazy. It can get into repetitive loops with the kinds of thoughts that bring you down or hold you back. Or, it can just spin out of control. If you are like most human beings, you are experiencing both.
Here is a simple way to retrain your brain and let go of these negative patterns of thinking: Continue reading
It was a few days before my client would give her first presentation before a group and anxiety was starting to bubble up. She asked for my help in minimizing her fear before it boiled over. Continue reading
If you want to avoid impulse buying it may feel like the odds are stacked against you. Advertisers, stores, and even your peers are masters of hypnosis. They hypnotize you into believing your long term goals don’t matter and there is nothing more you want in the world than to buy their product.
You become their puppet, disconnected from who you really are and what you really want.
Unless, you utilize the following tips … Continue reading
I lost my favorite pair of yoga pants. In my house. They have to be here somewhere, but I can’t find them. I’ve been looking for days.
And, I am not alone. My clients and friends talk about it often. One found her earrings in her underwear drawer and another opened her freezer the other day and discovered frozen car keys. Continue reading
You know that negative thoughts are unhealthy. Dangerous too. They keep you spinning in a false world so that you miss your real life. They re-wire your brain and personality. Steal your hope. And, energetically set you up for making them come true.
After awhile, negative thinking becomes a habit, maybe even an addiction.
When you decide you want to change, you label these thoughts as bad. You judge them. Resist them. Fight with them. And, this battle only feeds them more.
And then, you judge yourself. Or, just give up.
There is another way. A more loving way.
Simply return to the present moment and align your head with your heart.
This is how you do it:
At first you may need to repeat this often, but eventually it becomes your new habit.
A few tips:
Aligning your head and heart in the present moment opens the door to true internal peace and personal power.
What could be better than that?
One of the tools I use often and recommend to my clients is a free form style of writing that is like venting on paper. You simply take paper and pen and start writing about what is concerning you.
No rules. No editing. You can let the four letter words fly!
This stream of consciousness writing style is a powerful tool for processing the energy of feeling hurt, angry, or fearful. It brings clarity out of confusion and is a great vehicle for brainstorming.
My clients and I have had some pretty incredible experiences with this tool. One of them happened to me just the other day.
As I was writing about a challenge in my life, the pen I was using started to run out of ink. My writing was getting fainter and fainter, seeming to take the issue away with it. I laughed to myself about the hidden message I was receiving and went to find a new pen. When I came back to my journal, I realized that I felt clear and ready to write a new, more empowering story.
You never know what is going to happen when writing from your heart and soul.
Confusion, emotions, and conflict can block you from seeing the truth and opportunities before you. Free-form writing allows you to process what you are feeling and clear out the static in your mind and heart. It is from this place of inner freedom that answers begin to appear and we can create whole-hearted lives.
When someone lies to you they are more likely to:
When you are feeling challenged and frustrated by people around you, changing how you see them can make all the difference. You can adjust your view of people, events, or things to make them seem more or less powerful and make it easier, even entertaining, to be around them.
Just imagine what would happen if you visualized the troubling person in front of you as a:
You can flip the view and use this idea in a loving way that brings forward compassion for the other person, by seeing them as:
Visualizing words flashing on their foreheads like hurt, afraid, insecure, or sad, can also help you feel more understanding and diminish the impact their actions have on you.
The most powerful way to view yourself and the people around you is to remember that we are all souls. Our souls are perfect, but they get covered up by our fears, pain, and reactions to the things that happen in our lives. Remembering the true nature of the troubled and troublesome people around you can support you in interacting in a more comfortable and loving way.
With the change of seasons (not that it is very noticeable here in CA), I decided to pull out my winter clothes and see what I could piece together for my cool weather wardrobe.
I have to admit that while I am not a big shopper, I do like getting a good deal. This has resulted in my having a hodgepodge of clothes, many of which do not go together. It is challenging for me to clear some of them out because they are nice and might fit with something new I pick up in the future. So, even though I don’t have a ton of clothes there is a sense of chaos.
What I want is a closet with nice, well made clothes that go together. I want to open it and see a few complete outfits as my choices for each day.
And then, all I have to do each morning is ask them, “Who wants to come out and play?
This weekend I tried to tackle the project of clearing my closet. I must not have been in the right mood for it because I kept putting back things that had been placed in the donate pile. Instead of pushing myself, I simply accepted where I was at and chose an easier process that might work for you as well.
My closet looks much better and the chaotic feeling is gone. My choices are more clear each day and I am only wearing things I feel good in. It feels very peaceful to have a simple wardrobe, even when I haven’t cleared it all out.
My intention is to return to this project for phase 2 in a couple weeks and move out all those items that I am not really wearing. The experience of enjoying a simple organized wardrobe will make those choices much easier.
There are times in our lives when we all have continued doing things that no longer served us. Sometimes we just wonder about it. Is what I am doing working for me? Should I make a change? Sometimes we feel stuck. Why does nothing happen when I try so hard?
The following process is a quick and easy way to evaluate how effective your strategies are and decide how you want to move forward. Simply ask yourself these 6 questions: Continue reading