July is a month of memories and introspection for me. In July of 1973 I was 7 months pregnant, very young, and living with a man in an unhealthy, some would say dangerous, relationship.

My son rebelled in his own way by deciding to come into this world 2 months early. His first month was touch and go and he was transported to a neonatal unit in a different hospital. Meanwhile, I had complications of my own and almost died. It was about a month before we could come home and be together.

Every year around my son’s birthday I think of the young girl I was and how scared and hopeless she felt. For many years the memories made me sad and sometimes led to depression. But not any more.

Now, the anniversary of my son’s birth is a time of honoring my younger self and appreciating all she has done to make me who I am today. My memories are fueled by love, compassion and gratitude for a life journey that feels like a miracle, and I often find myself saying to that former version of me:

“Look at you now!”

It’s not always easy to see how we have grown and progressed though, especially when we are caught up in our daily lives or feeling challenged.

I’ve talked to many women who feel they have done nothing with their lives or that they are not moving forward. They are stuck in the narrow, short-term view, which is often filtered through limiting beliefs and self-judgement.

My job is to help them realize just how amazing and beautiful they are. I share what I see in them and often suggest they step back and take a longer view of their lives. When we compare today to yesterday, we may not see a lot of progress, but when we expand that view to a longer period of time the patterns of growth and accomplishment become clearer.

I recommend using this longer view approach whenever we are judging ourselves as not being or doing enough. It can also be powerful to revisit it on birthdays, anniversaries and at the beginning of each new year.

How to Embrace the Long View of Your Life

Seeing your life though a broader lens is a process of reflection. It supports you in acknowledging and honoring your journey and who you have become along the way.

It Starts with an Achievement List – Make a list of things you have accomplished, completed, and qualities you have developed over time.  But, don’t sell yourself short. Be thorough and include:

• Academics, awards and careers
• Things you have survived
• People or situations you have helped
• Unhealthy things you left behind
• Relationships you built
• Children you birthed or raised
• Habits you released or created
• Improved ways of thinking
• People you have forgiven
• How you treat yourself
• Personal growth and spiritual development

The possibilities are endless. If your list is short, you may want to break each thing down into smaller pieces or dig deeper. Creating this list will help ground you in how far you have come.

Remember Your Younger Self – Think about who you were before you accomplished these things. Was there a time when things felt hopeless or you couldn’t imagine making a good life? Focus on how proud you are of yourself then and now for all you have done and how you have grown.

Reflect on Your Journey – Spend some time journaling how you feel about what you have made of your life and the road you have traveled. Let yourself marinate in gratitude, love and appreciation for the life you have created and who you have become.

And then, take a moment to celebrate and say to yourself:

“Look at me now!”

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