Everyone seems to be talking about downsizing, decluttering and tidying up these days. Many of you are feeling the weight of too much stuff. Actually, stuffocating. And, it may be impacting you in more ways than you know.
I’ve noticed lately that when I have trouble going to sleep it’s usually because my mind is very active. It’s as if a thought or story has triggered it into a hyper state that keeps me from relaxing enough to fall asleep.
As I became more aware of this pattern, I could actually feel the moment my mind clicked in and grabbed onto something that would take it, and me, down the rabbit hole.
I decided to practice letting go of the thoughts in that moment and not let them become fully engaged. It’s working really well.
On this eve of Thanksgiving my thoughts are on all that I have to be thankful for and my heart is full. This afternoon, I will be playing Secret Turkey by putting messages of hope, gratitude and joy in mailboxes and on car windshields of people I don’t know.
Practicing thankfulness and gratitude are a part of my life all year, not just on Thanksgiving. There are studies that show gratitude practices can relieve depression, foster a sense of well-being, and even rewire your brain for happiness. If I start to feel low, the first thing I think of is refreshing my gratitude practice because I know it helps. Continue reading
I like to play with various challenges from time to time. It’s how I learn and grown. So, when someone at church suggested we practice thinking before we speak this week I was all in.
It was a good week for it, too. I had several conversations that needed to be handled carefully.
What I didn’t expect was how my focus on thoughtful speaking would make me feel. Continue reading
Feeling heard is a basic human need that far too many people go without. It can make or break relationships, save lives, and even prevent wars.
When someone is talking to you and you are distracted or not wanting to listen, they can tell. And, it hurts.
People who talk a lot, repeat themselves often, or get loud are usually not feeling heard or grew up feeling they didn’t have a voice. In challenging conversations, they will usually calm down once they know you have heard what they are trying to say and then move on to productive conversation.
Those who have suffered loss or are feeling upset don’t need sympathy or to hear your story; they need an opportunity to express themselves without interruption.
Listening is a cornerstone of communication and it is becoming a lost art. It is not about having an agenda or opinion, but about being focused, loving and safe for the other person in that moment.
But, what if what they have to say is negative or hurtful? What if they have a pattern of venting their issues or opinions at you all the time? What if you have a history with the other person that triggers pain and fear as they speak?
Taking care of yourself is always the first priority. If you do not feel safe or ready for the conversation, you are likely not the one meant to do the listening. At least, at this time.
Ultimately, you need to follow your heart. And, when you are able, giving the gift of Heart Centered Listening will be just as much for you as it is for the other person. In many cases these conversations end in huge shifts or breakthroughs. Even if they don’t, you will know that you have done a loving thing. And that, always feels good.
Related Posts:
How to Get Perspective When Feeling Pressured
Years ago I went through a time period when I was feeling sad and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It had happened gradually without my realizing what was going on. My days felt hard and my heart was heavy.
And then, one evening I was sitting on my couch watching TV and began to cry. I realized this was becoming a pattern and that is when I realized what was happening. Continue reading
“I can’t get no satisfaction, I can’t get no satisfaction
‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can’t get no, I can’t get no” – Mick Jagger
I’ve been feeling a bit like Mick Jagger lately and it’s my own fault. I’ve somehow slipped into a state of feeling unsatisfied with things in my life.
As most of you know, I recently adopted a little Beagle mix dog named Daisy. In many ways she is the perfect little girl. She adapted to crate training quickly, hasn’t chewed anything to death, got over her fear of cats, and seldom barks. She loves to cuddle, too.
But, Daisy has a couple little quirks that have caused me to spend my evenings watching Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) on TV at night. Continue reading
It’s pretty common that we feel energized when we set goals and intentions for our lives, but as time goes by and life happens that motivation can start to feel like a distant memory.
We remember the goals and are still vaguely aware of why we wanted them, but feel too busy, too tired, or just kind of stuck. Continue reading
For some reason I have been hearing the term “lizard brain” a lot this week. This is a nickname for the part of your brain that deals with survival and creates your fight or flight response. You may think of it as your own personal freak out zone. Continue reading
I’ve been to a lot of seminars over the years. Some were great, some were okay, and some of them made me feel uncomfortable. The ones I didn’t like usually involved pressure to buy, sell, or do something out of your comfort zone in order to be accepted.
It’s interesting to watch these charismatic seminar leaders in action. They make a lot of money doing this and are experts at building momentum and get people fired up.
They create a sense of urgency, use peer pressure, and sometimes shaming language: Continue reading
I’ve been a life coach for 15 years now. That is a long time. And, during that time I have witnessed transformations, courage, and deep pain as I supported people through the challenges in their lives.
When people ask what my niche or focus is I feel lost because I work with whatever challenges people bring to me – divorce, career, life threatening illness, restlessness, relationships, stress, simplifying their lives, confidence, self-care, creating something new, etc. You name it and I’ve probably coached it. And, I’ve loved it all.
The truth is – I don’t coach specific problems, I coach people. I believe that the issue isn’t necessarily the issue. It’s what lies beneath that matters. Continue reading
The concept of forgiving is very noble and we are told it is the right thing to do, but sometimes it is not so easy.
Even when we know that forgiving is not saying the other person was right we may still crave completion, an apology, a way to prevent it from happening to someone else, retribution, or even just understanding what happened. Continue reading
How peaceful are you feeling today? If you are like most people on earth there is probably a lot on your schedule and even more on your mind.
The following peace enhancing steps are ones that I taught at a retreat a couple years ago. I think you might like them. Continue reading
Pull out your journal or pen and paper and get ready to shift your fear… Continue reading
For the last year and a half I have lived in a place that has real seasons. Hot summers, fall leaves, winter snow, and birds and flowers in spring. But, I think my California brain is still adapting.
A little while ago we had a sunny and relatively warm day in the midst of winter. It fooled my brain and triggered a desire to spring clean, even though I knew the cold weather would return. I took advantage of the motivation and deep cleaned my house. It was a day of energy and satisfaction brought on by what felt like spring sunshine.
I loved having a preview of spring and appreciated how it motivated me to refresh and renew my space. And now, the change of seasons is really happening and I am ready to spring clean and spit polish my life all over again.
Would you like to join me? Here is how: Continue reading
We are taught that we are living out our life in a line. A life line that is full of twists, turns, and maybe even corkscrews. As we follow this path we encounter experiences that can block us, throw us off track, or bring us up or down. Sometimes they even set us back so that we have to start over. It’s a perspective that can leave you feeling battered and powerless over time. Continue reading
It’s interesting how we can have incredible ideas, intentions and goals and then get totally stuck when we try to implement them. The likely culprit is that we start over thinking and fall into a pattern of negative thoughts. Excitement and planning can quickly shift to reasons we shouldn’t move forward or can’t make things happen, especially if fear has a say.
And then, we find ourselves stuck in indecision and losing motivation as self-doubt and inertia set in. Our lives stay the same and our dreams fade into the distance.
But, wait! There is a quick and easy way to shift this pattern and make things happen. Here’s how it goes: Continue reading
Clearing clutter out of your home creates a more peaceful and supportive environment. But, sometimes it’s hard to get started or create positive momentum toward your clutter free goals.
Decluttering can feel like an overwhelming project. That is, unless you can kick start the process. One way to do this is to start with some of the things listed below. Continue reading
Soulful practices support you in feeling more peaceful, centered,and tapped into the inner guidance of your heart. They don’t have to be fancy and doing them regularly will help you sustain the peace they bring.
There are probably thousands of potential soulful practices and I have played with many of them. Here are 5 of my current favorites that are so simple you could start them today. Continue reading