I’ve been to a lot of seminars over the years. Some were great, some were okay, and some of them made me feel uncomfortable. The ones I didn’t like usually involved pressure to buy, sell, or do something out of your comfort zone in order to be accepted.
It’s interesting to watch these charismatic seminar leaders in action. They make a lot of money doing this and are experts at building momentum and get people fired up.
They create a sense of urgency, use peer pressure, and sometimes shaming language:
- If you don’t buy this, you don’t have what it takes.
- You can’t succeed without us. We know better than you.
- It would be really stupid to let this opportunity slip away.
- You won’t belong if you don’t do this.
The people in our lives may use similar methods to control us. They can use our fears and feelings of unworthiness to their advantage. And sometimes, we are so caught up in it we don’t even realize that we are being pressured.
It’s important to have a way of checking in with ourselves when we are in these high pressure situations. The following questions are a great way to begin:
- Is it in alignment with my values?
- Do I feel pressured?
- What does my heart want me to know?
- Am I questioning my own judgment because everyone else is doing it?
- What is my body telling me? Is it contracting or relaxed?
- Can my decision be postponed so that I have time to think about it?
- Am I being made to feel there is something wrong with me if I don’t do this?
- Is this something I would feel comfortable telling my friends and family about?
True empowerment involves being able to check within under pressure, listen to your own inner guidance, and make choices that honor YOU.
If you would like support around something or someone who makes you feel pressured, working with a professional Life Coach can help you gain perspective and make self-honoring choices.
I would love to be the one who supports you through this. You can contact me by emailing: lifecoachlinda@gmail.com or clicking here.
Related Posts:
A 5 Step Process for Overcoming Life Challenges
Living in Alignment with Your Values
6 Steps to Self-Confidence and Self-Trust
Very true. Everyone is always selling their product. The most important product is “the message” in regards to these seminars, in my opinion.
I agree. It also happens in other areas of our lives. I once attended a program that said we could not be successful unless we learned to sell and then proceeded to try and sell us. It’s when selling crosses the line into manipulation that we need to be very careful.
Wow! I love this blog post. I struggled with this for a long time and reading this makes so much sense to me about past thoughts I have had. Thanks for the clarity!
You are most welcome.
such great tips! i also find that when asking the right questions , inner wisdom will guide me through challenges!
Yes. We need a way to break the trance so that we can tap into our intuition and questions are a great way to do that.
Really wonderful post, thanks for sharing!
Glad you liked it Macy!
Thanks so much for reposting this!
I am growing my business and was struggling with a decision that my mentor was urging me and others to make. After reading this and getting clear, I let her know that implementing the process and fees involved are not a good fit for my business at this time. No stress, no guilt, no shame.
Thank you, Linda. You are wise and wonderful!
I shared a link to this post on my business FB page, by the way!
Gretchen
I’m so glad this post helped you have clarity and stay true to what is best for you. Thanks for sharing it, too.