We, as humans, are wired to be problem solvers. This is a skill that has helped us survive both collectively and as individuals. When one challenge is resolved we look for the next thing to work on.
This not only keeps us in fix it mode but can also cause a negative bias toward our lives and the world we live in. There is always something wrong or something to fix. We forget to celebrate what is going well, gratitude for those who have helped or the magical moments and beauty of daily life. We are too busy looking for the next problem and exaggerating its importance.
We also anticipate problems that never come into reality. Our minds’ focus on and amplify “what ifs” until we feel overwhelmed and burdened by all that we perceive is wrong in our world.
What if I get fired? Get sick? Lose my way? Something happens to my family?
And then it becomes a habit, and the little things start to feel just as scary as the big ones did.
What if I’m late? Run out of gas? Miss a call? Don’t get enough likes? Miss a sale?
We move into a constant state of “What ifs” and negative bias that leaves us unhappy and unable to accomplish what we want. Over time, our brains rewire themselves deeper and deeper into this fear-based, negative way of thinking and can even change our personalities. How we think about the world not only changes what we do, but who we are.
Our brains are tools that work for us, not the center of our wisdom. They provide data and thought processes but are not the keepers of our intuition and inner knowing. They are placeholders for our memories and learnings but not connected to our heart and soul.
True power comes when we combine the data from our brains with the wisdom of our hearts.
That wisdom will guide our brains to a more peaceful and positive way of being. It will keep us centered on possibilities and beauty and love.
Our inner wisdom guides us to reframe our “what ifs” from fearful negatives to inspiring possibilities.
What if it goes well?
What if I already know the answer?
What if I can handle it?
What if I’m not stuck at all?
What if there is no reason to worry?
What if I decided to do it anyway?
What if I wasn’t afraid?
What if I loved myself?
What if there is an even greater lesson involved?
What if I could be happier?
Choosing to take control of your problem-solving brain and guiding it toward positive possibilities creates a shift in how you feel, what you can do and over time, who you become.
It’s easy to start. When your brain starts asking you what if something goes wrong, simply reframe it by asking what if things went well. Shift what if I don’t know, to what if I do. Change what if I can’t do it to what if I can. And reframe what if I’m unlovable to what if I love myself.
If doing this feels challenging, it’s a sign of how much more you need it. Keep repeating this process until you start to perceive a shift in your perspective. This is not about bypassing reality but balancing the negative bias against it and being more connected to the truth.
Whether you do this in your head or through a journaling process, I challenge you to bring awareness to your “what ifs” and reframe the ones that do not serve you.
You will be glad you did.
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