There are some people…
You know what I mean. They don’t do or say what you think they should and sometimes people get hurt. Maybe even you. It could be a spouse, relative, politician, or someone you work with who upsets you. Just thinking about them makes your stomach clench, your body tighten, and your heart rate go up.
They make your life miserable.
Or, do they?
When someone upsets you, it is important to remember three things:
Who is Responsible for What: Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. It’s between them and God. You do not have to be in the middle.What you are responsible for is your reaction. You get to choose how you respond and feel in any situation. This is good news, because the point of power for healing and shifting is within you.
There is a Reason They Do What They Do: Behavior patterns often come from our histories. Someone who talks a lot may not have felt heard as a child. A person who puts others down, likely feels unworthy. And, people with more passive characteristics may have felt a need to hide. Being aware that people are the way they are for a reason can help you feel more compassionate and diminish your reactions to them.
Everyone Deserves a Blessing: We all have different journeys in this adventure called life. Some are not as pretty as others. My clients who live in the South joke that you can say anything about someone as long as you follow it with – “God bless her soul”. My radical idea is to think those very words about the people who upset you the most. Just bless them. And if you need to, move on.
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I just remember; not my circus, not my monkeys. 🙂
I love that saying and use it often. Thanks for sharing it.
So true! Thanks for the quick, helpful tips.
You are most welcome.
I love this! When someone says, “You made me angry,” or whatever feeling they have, I remind them that I can’t make them feel anything. They choose how they are going to feel just as I choose how I’m going to feel about things. Additionally, as I read your last paragraph, I was instantly reminded of a saying that I started incorporating into my life several years ago, “Kill them with kindness.”
I have witnessed the power of love and kindness melt really tough and difficult people, but sometimes you just have to acknowledge that they are dealing with their own journey and let them go.
Indeed, we are responsible for our own actions and reactions.
Yes, and knowing this puts the power to heal and improve our lives in our own hands. Thank you for your comment.
I’ll buy this, Coach Linda- as long as what they do doesn’t impede my progress. (Someone who waits until their entire grocery purchase has been tallied to begin searching in that bottomless pit they call a pocket book for a credit car; someone who is so busy texting on their phone that they don’t progress when the light is now green, etc.)