Years ago I went through a time period when I was feeling sad and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It had happened gradually without my realizing what was going on. My days felt hard and my heart was heavy.
And then, one evening I was sitting on my couch watching TV and began to cry. I realized this was becoming a pattern and that is when I realized what was happening. Continue reading
“I can’t get no satisfaction, I can’t get no satisfaction
‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can’t get no, I can’t get no” – Mick Jagger
I’ve been feeling a bit like Mick Jagger lately and it’s my own fault. I’ve somehow slipped into a state of feeling unsatisfied with things in my life.
We all have our ups and downs, but some of us have more of a roller coaster ride through life than others. While there is little you can do to influence events that happen outside of you, there are many ways you can shift how you feel and create a more positive life.
Here are some of my favorites: Continue reading
When people hear that I choose to live simply they shake their heads and say they could never survive a simple life. In their minds they are picturing life in a cabin with one chair, one plate, and one fork. Or, a house that is cold, colorless, empty, and devoid of personality. And then, they imagine having to wear old, worn, and frumpy thrift store clothes, maybe even pioneer dresses. To them simple living sounds like a nightmare.
But, the truth is, it’s nothing like that at all. Continue reading
As most of you know, I recently adopted a little Beagle mix dog named Daisy. In many ways she is the perfect little girl. She adapted to crate training quickly, hasn’t chewed anything to death, got over her fear of cats, and seldom barks. She loves to cuddle, too.
But, Daisy has a couple little quirks that have caused me to spend my evenings watching Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) on TV at night. Continue reading
We all have stories about our histories and many of them are about childhood experiences where our needs were not met. Some of us continue to feel the pain and anger of those early times and the beliefs we formed about ourselves and the world also continue to shape our lives.
Holding onto our childhood stories can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from living the life we deserve. We can make ourselves sick by keeping the emotions trapped in our bodies and live as victims controlled by fear.
For many of us, our histories feed our deepest feelings of being unworthy and unlovable.
It is only by releasing these feelings and letting go of the past that you will be free. Free to grow. Free to feel good enough. Free to create the life and love you want. Your past is in the past. It’s an old story. Honor it, but don’t get lost in it. It’s time to write a new story for the rest of your life.
I don’t say this lightly and know that when you are living in emotional pain feeling free of it can seem impossible. I have been there. But, I have also been able to move beyond it. If I can do it, you can too.
Often, the assistance of a qualified coach, counselor, specialized program, or trusted friend can help you find the way. If you would like to talk to me about the possibility of working together to support your healing, you can contact me here.
Below is one of the exercises that I have used and recommended. You will want to create some alone time in a quiet space to focus on the process. It may feel awkward at first, but when you really dive in it can help you start to heal your past. Here are the steps:
Keep in mind that this is a process and healing your entire history won’t happen over night. But, when you start taking steps in that direction, you are taking a stand for yourself.
If you have thoughts of ending your life, please call a suicide hotline immediately. Here is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Or, if you feel hopelessly entrenched in emotional pain, please get help. Don’t try to tough it out. It’s okay to ask for help. I did, and it changed my life.
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I’ve had puppyitis for quite awhile now, spending way too much time looking at available dogs on rescue group websites. This craving has been around for awhile and I finally decided the only way to cure it was to give in.
I inquired about a couple dogs online and was invited to meet them at Petsmart when the rescue group would be there. The primary candidates were a maltipoo and a lab/terrier mix and I was assured they met my requirements of being house trained and good with cats.
That morning I was nervous, but became calm after journaling. I reminded myself that getting a dog from a rescue group is like saving a life, because when you adopt one it makes room for one more to be saved.
My daughter-in-law, Alexis, came with me for moral support and to keep me from doing anything really crazy. During the drive there I was reviewing the two dogs in my mind trying to decide what to do.
And then, in a moment of clarity, my inner voice said – “It’s never what you think it will be.”
Sure enough. You might have noticed in the pictures I definitely didn’t bring home a maltipoo or lab mix. She looks suspiciously like a beagle. The maltipoo looked unhealthy, was chewing his legs, and when I put him down he peed to mark his territory several times. (Don’t ever buy anything off the bottom shelves at Petsmart.)
Meanwhile, there was my little Daisy looking very cute and sweet. She had just been spayed the day before and wasn’t feeling well, but when they opened her crate she came right to me.
It’s never what you think it will be.
I was concerned about getting a dog that would be hard on my cats, but that’s definitely not the case with Daisy. She was terrified of THEM! When Daisy first saw Chloe she shrieked and ran.
It’s never what you think it will be.
It’s been 5 days now and I have had my moments of wondering why I ever wanted a dog. There has been a lot of work with potty training (it appears she wasn’t trained after all), inter-species relationships, and separation anxiety. She has also seemed depressed and would cower when told no or if I moved too fast.
Today she pottys on walks well (but, won’t go in her own yard), is getting along better with the cats every day, and having brief moments of playfulness.
And, I have fallen in love.
It’s never what you think it will be.
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The Simple Truth about Fear, Worry, & Anxiety
I’ve been to a lot of seminars over the years. Some were great, some were okay, and some of them made me feel uncomfortable. The ones I didn’t like usually involved pressure to buy, sell, or do something out of your comfort zone in order to be accepted.
It’s interesting to watch these charismatic seminar leaders in action. They make a lot of money doing this and are experts at building momentum and get people fired up.
They create a sense of urgency, use peer pressure, and sometimes shaming language: Continue reading
I’ve been a life coach for 15 years now. That is a long time. And, during that time I have witnessed transformations, courage, and deep pain as I supported people through the challenges in their lives.
When people ask what my niche or focus is I feel lost because I work with whatever challenges people bring to me – divorce, career, life threatening illness, restlessness, relationships, stress, simplifying their lives, confidence, self-care, creating something new, etc. You name it and I’ve probably coached it. And, I’ve loved it all.
The truth is – I don’t coach specific problems, I coach people. I believe that the issue isn’t necessarily the issue. It’s what lies beneath that matters. Continue reading
How peaceful are you feeling today? If you are like most people on earth there is probably a lot on your schedule and even more on your mind.
The following peace enhancing steps are ones that I taught at a retreat a couple years ago. I think you might like them. Continue reading
We are taught that we are living out our life in a line. A life line that is full of twists, turns, and maybe even corkscrews. As we follow this path we encounter experiences that can block us, throw us off track, or bring us up or down. Sometimes they even set us back so that we have to start over. It’s a perspective that can leave you feeling battered and powerless over time. Continue reading
It’s interesting how we can have incredible ideas, intentions and goals and then get totally stuck when we try to implement them. The likely culprit is that we start over thinking and fall into a pattern of negative thoughts. Excitement and planning can quickly shift to reasons we shouldn’t move forward or can’t make things happen, especially if fear has a say.
And then, we find ourselves stuck in indecision and losing motivation as self-doubt and inertia set in. Our lives stay the same and our dreams fade into the distance.
But, wait! There is a quick and easy way to shift this pattern and make things happen. Here’s how it goes: Continue reading
Clearing clutter out of your home creates a more peaceful and supportive environment. But, sometimes it’s hard to get started or create positive momentum toward your clutter free goals.
Decluttering can feel like an overwhelming project. That is, unless you can kick start the process. One way to do this is to start with some of the things listed below. Continue reading
In his book, The Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey recommends a process he calls the debt snowball for paying off your bills. He suggests you list all your debts and then pay as much as you can toward the one with the lowest balance first and when it is paid off, move on to the next smallest bill.
Why the lowest balance first? Because, by starting with the smallest bills you build momentum, just like a snowball that grows and builds speed as it goes downhill. It also creates a pattern of success that motivates you to keep going. Continue reading
I love listening to people talk about their life story. As a coach, hearing my clients’ stories is an important part of my work. Their histories often reveal what has shaped their lives today and also bring light to just how powerful, loving, and beautiful my clients really are. They may not be able to see it, but I sure can.
Gradually, this love of stories began to pull me into the idea of helping people honor their histories by writing them down, and I became certified as a guided autobiography (GAB) class instructor. Continue reading
The human mind can be a dangerous thing. It can run away with our time, energy, and ability to be fully present in the real world. One of it’s favorite limiting tools is worry.
Fear also loves worry as it can be used to keep us busy and stuck so we don’t take chances or move out of our comfort zone.
If you were able to calculate how much of your life energy was actually wasted on imagining a scary future you would probably be shocked enough to take action and stop letting it control your life. But, how? Continue reading
It has been clear to me for a long time that the words we use impact our feelings and actions. I write about it, coach it, and practice re-framing limiting language in my own life. But, studying to become a Certified Hypnotherapist brought my understanding to a whole new level. Continue reading
An early teacher of mine on my personal growth journey, Kendrick Mercer, used to say that fantasies were good for us. His perspective was that daydreams and fantasies were how we rehearsed for our future reality. Continue reading
We are happiest when our lives are in alignment with our core values. Living this way nurtures what is most meaningful to us and allows us to feel more peaceful, grounded, and fulfilled. Anything that conflicts with our values will create more stress and dissonance in our lives. Continue reading
I have always been amazed by the trees along the fence line of my yard. They managed to persevere and shape themselves around the obstacles in their way as they grew.
Many of them have chain link fence that goes right through them. Others have poles or pieces of brick integrated into them in odd places. Continue reading