We all have stories about our histories and many of them are about childhood experiences where our needs were not met. Some of us continue to feel the pain and anger of those early times and the beliefs we formed about ourselves and the world also continue to shape our lives.

Holding onto our childhood stories can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from living the life we deserve. We can make ourselves sick by keeping the emotions trapped in our bodies and live as victims controlled by fear.

For many of us, our histories feed our deepest feelings of being unworthy and unlovable.

It is only by releasing these feelings and letting go of the past that you will be free. Free to grow. Free to feel good enough. Free to create the life and love you want. Your past is in the past. It’s an old story. Honor it, but don’t get lost in it. It’s time to write a new story for the rest of your life.

I don’t say this lightly and know that when you are living in emotional pain feeling free of it can seem impossible. I have been there. But, I have also been able to move beyond it. If I can do it, you can too.

Often, the assistance of a qualified coach, counselor, specialized program, or trusted friend can help you find the way. If you would like to talk to me about the possibility of working together to support your healing, you can contact me here. 

Below is one of the exercises that I have used and recommended. You will want to create some alone time in a quiet space to focus on the process. It may feel awkward at first, but when you really dive in it can help you start to heal your past. Here are the steps:

A 5 Step Process for Healing a Past Issue

1. Identify a situation to work with and what age you were at the time
2. Take out paper and pen and ask your younger self (you at the age when the issue happened) what she wants you to know – write what she is saying in the first person (starting with the word “I”) and encourage her to express what she feels fully and freely. Do not judge or edit, just write. She may swear, be angry, or scared. It’s all okay. You are giving her an opportunity to feel heard. You can ask questions or interact with her if you want to further the conversation.
3. When she is through, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Take a very deep breath and breathe out any negative or limiting emotions that came up during the process. Repeat a couple times if needed and then settle into a pattern of breathing out what no longer serves you and breathing in LOVE. Sit with the feeling of letting go and bringing in love for a few moments.
4. Comfort your younger self. You can do this by telling her you love her and will keep her safe, hugging yourself, or imagining holding her lovingly.  Do what feels right for you.
5. Sit with that feeling of love and healing for awhile and then form an intention to carry it forward with you as you step back into your daily life. You may want to journal more about what you have learned in the process and how you feel.

Keep in mind that this is a process and healing your entire history won’t happen over night. But, when you start taking steps in that direction, you are taking a stand for yourself.

If you have thoughts of ending your life, please call a suicide hotline immediately. Here is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Or, if you feel hopelessly entrenched in emotional pain, please get help. Don’t try to tough it out. It’s okay to ask for help. I did, and it changed my life.

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