Christopher, Thomas, and Becca
Nothing prepared me for what was going to happen when my first grandchild was born. Friends would get these mysterious smiles and say, “Just wait, it will be wonderful.” They seemed transformed when they became grandmothers, beaming brightly as they obsessively shared pictures of their new family members everywhere they went.
And they were right. Becoming a grandmother was wonderful. More than wonderful.
Even though my oldest grandson is in college now, the moment I first saw him is branded in my heart and mind forever.
Everything fell away in that moment and my heart opened beyond anything I could have imagined. I was experiencing a miracle of life and love.
No more guarding and protecting my heart. No more sitting on the sidelines. I was in! All in!
The same feelings came forward when his sister and brother were born, but that first time was like a shock to my system because I didn’t know I could love that freely and at such a deep level. I hadn’t realized how big my heart really was.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my son more than anything, but we were separated when he was born because he was premature and didn’t get to experience those first magical moments together. And then, the struggle of being a single parent kept me busy and my upbringing in a family that didn’t show affection held me back. So even though I loved him more than life itself, I didn’t have the skills or freedom to demonstrate it at the time.
That is why being a grandmother is different than being a mom. We are free to just love without the daily stress and worries. We can see things from a broader perspective supported by our years of experience and our only job is to be there fully for these new precious beings that come into our lives.
Our role as grandmothers is not to be taken lightly. We are there to listen deeply and support in a way that is not clouded by day to day family living. I made a point of spending one on one time with each grandchild and listening carefully to what they had to say. They often revealed things they had kept to themselves or their parents didn’t have time to hear. They had more uninterrupted space in which to be heard and knew that they would be loved, no matter what they said or did.
There is a moment I remember when my grandchildren were young that symbolizes for me what being a grandma is about.
As I walked into their house for a visit, they all ran over to hug me at the same time and ended up knocking me down onto the floor. Their parents were yelling at them to stop and I remember looking up and trying to figure out what was wrong. Because I was in heaven. Pure bliss. Wrestled to the floor with love.
And that is why women seem to be transformed when they become grandmothers. T
Those little magical creatures we call babies and grandchildren are more powerful than you can ever imagine. They break through our armor, heal our hearts, and open them beyond anything we imagined possible. . And, that is something I will forever be grateful for.
If you are a grandmother, you know what I mean.
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Please feel free to comment on this post. I would love to hear what you have to say about becoming a grandmother.