Have you ever noticed that as people get older they become more entrenched in the way they view the world? I remember one woman I met while volunteering at an Alzheimer’s facility. She was always smiling and would get really excited about simple things like a game of Bingo. Her positive mindset was helping her stay happy and enjoy better moods during a challenging time of her life.
And then, I remember my dad. He would complain endlessly about people who he felt took advantage of him or what was wrong with the world. Visiting him meant listening to much repeated stories of things that had gone wrong in his life. He was angry, hateful and sad and I always felt drained after visiting him.
Both of these people had chosen a way of thinking that programmed their brains year after year until they were living fully in the mindsets they created.
I don’t know about you, but I want to be like the happy woman , not like my dad. In truth, I want to feel like that today. In order to do so I need to practice some mental hygiene.
You may want to join me.
Our thoughts often create our realities and they certainly impact how we feel. When we think about negative things we feel sad or angry, but when we focus on what is possible and positive we are much happier. When we get stuck in a loop of negative thoughts our brain adjusts, creating neuropathways that continually lead us that direction. The more we focus on these thoughts the deeper the pathways are. Without intervention it can become a life sentence.
For me, these thought patterns lead to depression or anxiety and I know this is common for many of you too.
Fortunately, we can break the cycle and reprogram our brains with some basic mental hygiene. I’m not talking spiritual bypass here. You should let your self feel your feelings, just don’t get stuck in them. When working with clients I often suggest the two step approach that I use.
Release the Negative
When we find ourselves feeling heavy or become aware of an unhealthy pattern of thinking, it’s time to let it go:
- Start by bringing awareness to what is bothering you and how you feel. You may want to journal about it or talk to a friend, therapist or coach. Venting is okay.
- Give yourself time to feel the feelings and let them process, keeping in mind that feelings can lessen in a couple minutes of intense focus once you have become aware of them.
- Finish with one of the exercises below or by doing something loving for yourself.
- Stay aware and when you notice your thoughts going the wrong direction, just say no thanks and think about something else.
Embrace the Positive
You can re-reprogram the direction of your thinking by feeding your mind good stuff. I’m not suggesting empty affirmations or always putting a positive spin on things. This is more about re-connecting with what is already good in your life, because when you are in the muck you just can’t see it. Here are some ways that my clients and I do this:
- Daily gratitude practice – write at least 5 things you are grateful for each day. The more detail you give the more powerful it will be.
- Write about or take pictures of simple pleasures, magical moments, or heart shapes you find throughout the day.
- Get moving – do something physical. You get extra points if it’s outdoors or connected to nature.
- Stop and smell the roses. Don’t rush past what is beautiful in your world.
- Deepen your connections with positive people in your life.
- Avoid blaming, complaining, shoulds or absolutes like always and never.
- Make lists of your lifetime successes or best qualities to look at when you feel low.
- Document your daily wins. Share them with someone if you can.
- Write a mission statement for your life and revisit it every morning.
- Set a clear and positive intention for how you will show up each day.
- Limit exposure to the news or entertainment that features violence or hatred. Surround yourself with uplifting things.
These are a small portion of things you can do to practice mental hygiene and create a lifetime of better moods. Choose a few to start playing with or create some of your own.
I think we can agree the stakes are high. Thriving vs. a life of misery. And, we need to start today. I hope you will join me on this journey.
If you would like to inquire about the possibility of my becoming your coach and supporting you as you create a happier life, you can contact me here.
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