One of the things I loved about my friend Sybil while she was on this earth was her joy in bringing people together for food and stimulating conversation. She loved to listen and bask in the warmth of being surrounded by interesting friends.
As she was losing her ability to speak, she started writing letters to us. I came across a few of them recently and they were full of amusing observations and appreciation for the people around her. I could almost here her chuckling between the lines.
Eventually, she lost her ability to write or type her own letters and the ones she received from others became a new source of joy. She would have me read them to her over and over again.
As time passed and her disease progressed the letters and visits from friends came less often and she felt more isolated. It was hard to watch her lose those connections to the outside world and I realized how valuable a simple letter could be.
Since then I have often recommended writing letters of gratitude from the heart. They are not only a beautiful gift to give, but writing them will also flood your heart with memories, love, and appreciation.
The letters don’t have to be sent to do their magic. You can write them to people who have passed or you are no longer in contact with. They can even be therapeutic, assisting you in resolving past issues, letting go of pain and remembering the good, even in people who hurt you.
When the letters ARE shared they open the hearts of both the giver and receiver. Tears may flow. Happy tears. Once you experience the beauty of sharing these letters of gratitude you will want to do it over and over again.
There are many people who feel alone or unappreciated in today’s world that would cherish a letter from you. What would happen if you made a list of those people and wrote a letter to one each week or month? Imagine how many people you could lift up. Wouldn’t that feel great?
My friend, Lynette Smith is an inspiring letter writer. When her son got married, he and his bride presented their parents with framed letters of appreciation. Lynette cherishes this gift and it has inspired her mission to get people putting pen to paper again. The cornerstone of this mission is her book: How to Write Heartfelt Letters to Treasure: For Special Occasions and Occasions Made Special.
One of the things I enjoy about her series of small books is that they provide words that will be meaningful for different types of people. These words can be used as writing cues to help get you started.
I encourage you to spend some time thinking of the people in your life you can write letters of appreciation to. Go ahead and give it a try. You will find it is one of the most rewarding things you can do.
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Recently, I came across the Facebook page of a friend of a friend, who was dying of cancer. It was filled with memories and pictures from friends and loved ones. I cried as I scrolled through her feed, seeing how her life had inspired so many others and how they were taking the time to give back to her in her last days. She passed away the day after I discovered her, but that experience impacted me profoundly. Don’t wait to tell someone how much they mean/meant to you; today is the day.
So true. Sometimes I would try to entertain my friend who was ill or read my blog to her and while she appreciated that, I could tell that it was most meaningful when I simply said “I love you.”
Thank you for this post, Linda. I wholeheartedly agree that there is something special about heartfelt letter writing. And having read Lynette’s book as well, I am recently inspired to write such a letter to a family member, while that family member is still around to appreciate the sentiment.
While we can write heartfelt letters to loved ones who have passed, being able to do so while they are still with us is so much more meaningful. I am sure your family member will be touched and appreciative.
Generally, that mode of expression is only shared with my loved ones. Both because of the time involved- and the baring of walls and blockades.
Hi Linda, I really liked your post and it kind of made me feel bad at the same time. I used to write letters all the time to a few of my aunts and uncles, but have gotten out of the habit over the past few years. I think that I may just have to get back to it a little bit especially as some of those aunts are still alive but are beginning to experience the effects of diminishing numbers of relationships. Thanks for reminding me that those letters are often very important to the receiver.
Debrah: This is a beautiful opportunity to shift out of self-judgement. Likely you just became busy or lost connection to the idea for some reason. I would encourage you to simply reframe that it has come up again because it is time to start thinking about re-bonding with your family through letters. Enjoy!