An early teacher of mine on my personal growth journey, Kendrick Mercer, used to say that fantasies were good for us. His perspective was that daydreams and fantasies were how we rehearsed for our future reality. Continue reading
We are happiest when our lives are in alignment with our core values. Living this way nurtures what is most meaningful to us and allows us to feel more peaceful, grounded, and fulfilled. Anything that conflicts with our values will create more stress and dissonance in our lives. Continue reading
When people hear that I choose to live simply they shake their heads and say they could never survive a simple life. In their minds they are picturing life in a cabin with one chair, one plate, and one fork. Or, a house that is cold, colorless, empty, and devoid of personality. And then, they imagine having to wear old, worn, and frumpy thrift store clothes, maybe even pioneer dresses. To them simple living sounds down right miserable.
But, the truth is, it’s nothing like that at all. Continue reading
I have always been amazed by the trees along the fence line of my yard. They managed to persevere and shape themselves around the obstacles in their way as they grew.
Many of them have chain link fence that goes right through them. Others have poles or pieces of brick integrated into them in odd places. Continue reading
While most of my coaching happens with clients over a period of time, there are some things that can be handled more quickly. You may have specific questions, be unable to afford ongoing coaching, or just want an hour of gentle support.
I want to be able to serve you, too.
To serve this purpose, I am now offering one hour Pick My Brain phone sessions.
In these sessions you bring your questions, issues, pain, dreams, or challenges to the call and I will provide one hour of highly focused support, including tools or action steps that will help you as you move forward.
And, keep in mind, 99.9% of my clients say that they feel much better after simply talking to me.
You probably already have something percolating in your mind that is asking for attention. So,,here is how you can set up your Pick My Brain call:
Email: email@example.com or go here to schedule a time and arrange payment. The fee for 2017 will be $125 per session, payable by credit card or Paypal.
Below are some of my areas of expertise and common themes that come up in my coaching calls around life challenges, dreams, business, blogging, and support for life coaches.
There will be consequences if you do nothing and let things stay the same, whether they are about how you feel or how quickly or easily you move forward.
Just remember, I am an experienced and professional coach who really cares and is ready to support you.
You can schedule your Pick My Brain session or ask a question by emailing me at: firstname.lastname@example.org or contacting me here.
I look forward to hearing from you.
From my business coaching blog, Simple Smart Business:
I recently came across this wonderful quote by Wayne Muller:
“Your challenge is not to keep trying to repair what was damaged, your practice instead is to re-awaken what is already wise, strong, and whole within you, to cultivate those qualities of heart and spirit that are available to you in this very moment.” Continue reading
I don’t think anyone gets out of this life without times when they feel low on energy, high on stress, or just not ready to face the world. The good news is that you don’t have to let a bad mood control or disempower you. At least, not before trying these Bad Mood Busters: Continue reading
When you experience challenges in your primary relationship it can impact all areas of your life, including the people around you. Building up resentment only makes you hyper-reactive and clouds your perspective.
So, when your relationship is feeling “off”, use these Principles for a Great Relationship to return to the foundation of love and partnership that will make your life feel blessed. Continue reading
Do you believe in magic? What about magic words?
I know I do, because I have witnessed how our words can either empower us or keep us stuck.
Even when we remove the obvious ones from our vocabulary like can’t, won’t, don’t, should, or shouldn’t, there are other sneaky ways our language can limit us. Continue reading
One day in my class as a student of spiritual psychology at USM, a teacher asked if anyone in the room of about 300 people was feeling tired or depressed. A surprising number of people raised their hands.
One of them, a young woman, shared that she had felt depressed for a long time and had very little energy. She agreed to participate in an experiment that could help her feel better. Continue reading
It’s Friday and I have some more favorites to share. Things like healing depression, supporting a hurting friend, and feeling unstoppable. Information we can all use.
So, here goes: Continue reading
My Mom used to tell the story of when I was around three and kept asking for a “Toot –Toot” for Christmas. It took my parents quite a while, but they finally figured out that I wanted a corncob pipe so that I could be just like my cartoon hero Popeye. Continue reading
When I was 15 my family moved to a new neighborhood. For some reason my mom wasn’t happy. She was a good woman who was normally well liked, but while living there she developed contentious relationships with a couple of the neighbors.
Things got pretty ugly and as a typical teenager I felt embarrassed and became angry with my mom. Continue reading
Many of my clients when they first come to me lead chaotic lives. They are usually on the run, can’t find things when they need them, and often seem to live being tossed from one drama to the next. Their lives are full of anxiety, stress, and unhappiness.
When I suggest bringing a sense of order to their lives, they often resist. It’s too hard! They don’t have the time! And, they feel that if they slow down for a minute all the things they are juggling will fall at once. But, they trust me and usually give it a try, only to find that order brings them peace and allows them to be more effective in the end.
You don’t need to be stressed or anxious to benefit from bringing more order and harmony into your life. We can all appreciate the peace and contentment it brings. When we feel peaceful our lives flow more naturally and we gain a sense of freedom. Continue reading
If you are a human on planet Earth, you are probably spending a lot of time and energy on things that aren’t serving you well. Things like: Continue reading
When people find out I moved from Southern California to a small town in Missouri, they seem surprised that anyone would want to do that. And then they start to look amused and ask how my transition is going. They know that I am a fish out of water, a stranger in a strange land, and am sure to be a source of silly entertainment as I learn to navigate this new world.
And, they are right. I’ve done some silly things and I’m learning a lot.
My new life in this small southern town is not better or worse, it’s just different. Here are some of the things I have noticed:
There are no lines – not at the post office, the grocery store, city office, or restaurants. I can’t seem to find one anywhere.
Speed limits are really, really slow – I thought I would have trouble keeping to the 20 to 35 mph speed limits in town until I realized there are so many stop signs that you never get up to speed anyway. A few days ago I was with someone who got pulled over for going 33 mph. That would never happen in CA.
The crime rate is low – most of the posts on the police department Facebook page are about pets that have been found.
My weather app is my new best friend – you never know what the day will bring. I now check the weather every day and have alerts set for severe thunder storms and tornadoes.
If I don’t go to the high school football game, I can hear the play by play at my house – in small towns you always live near the high school.
But, I enjoy going to high school football games – mostly because I am with my family, but the rest is fun too.
It’s hard for a vegetarian to eat out – I always say I can eat anywhere, even in a town where biscuits and gravy with eggs and bacon are considered a healthy breakfast. What I have discovered though is that they cook everything on the same grill, so when I order pancakes they taste like bacon. I doubt there is much sensitivity toward vegetarians here.
Shopping and errands require strategic planning – the local city with “regular” stores is about a half hour away. I intend to shop local when I can, but still haven’t quite figured out how to plan the city trips well and make them efficient.
My yard is full of wild life (and bugs) – birds, rabbits, and squirrels are a part of my everyday life now and at night I get to listen to cicadas and watch lightening bugs flash across the lawn. My cats love watching out the windows, especially the antics of Seymour, the squirrel that lives in my front yard tree.
Mosquitoes love CA blood – it must be a delicacy around here.
The trash men will pick up anything – you just set it out by the street and it’s gone. Maybe only my CA readers will understand how strange this seems.
There are a wide variety of accepted forms of transportation – it is not unusual to see people going down the street in golf carts or riding lawn mowers or tractors.
Customer service is a priority – everyone seems eager to help. I think I disappointed (or maybe insulted) someone the other day when I insisted I could carry my own bag of groceries out.
People are friendly – almost everyone says “hi” and I feel very welcome, but deep down I think they are just watching me carefully to see how I am going to do and if I will stick around.
And, that is okay. Because I WILL learn, adapt, and stick around, I also know that I have a lot to offer and will be able to serve this community in some way. I just haven’t figured out how I want to do that yet.
If you are looking to make a change in your life and would like the support of a Professional Life Coach, I would love to hear from you. Contact Me
There are some people…
You know what I mean. They don’t do or say what you think they should and sometimes people get hurt. Maybe even you. It could be a spouse, relative, politician, or someone you work with who upsets you. Just thinking about them makes your stomach clench, your body tighten, and your heart rate go up.
They make your life miserable.
Or, do they?
When someone upsets you, it is important to remember three things:
Who is Responsible for What: Everyone is responsible for their own behavior. It’s between them and God. You do not have to be in the middle.What you are responsible for is your reaction. You get to choose how you respond and feel in any situation. This is good news, because the point of power for healing and shifting is within you.
There is a Reason They Do What They Do: Behavior patterns often come from our histories. Someone who talks a lot may not have felt heard as a child. A person who puts others down, likely feels unworthy. And, people with more passive characteristics may have felt a need to hide. Being aware that people are the way they are for a reason can help you feel more compassionate and diminish your reactions to them.
Everyone Deserves a Blessing: We all have different journeys in this adventure called life. Some are not as pretty as others. My clients who live in the South joke that you can say anything about someone as long as you follow it with – “God bless her soul”. My radical idea is to think those very words about the people who upset you the most. Just bless them. And if you need to, move on.
Just when I thought my transition from Southern California to a small town in Missouri was moving along gracefully, Mother Nature sent a welcome committee to test my commitment.
We were hit by a storm with 70 mph winds while I was still unpacking. It was the worst storm in decades and left most of our town (including me) without power for a couple days.
Sounds bad, right?
Not as much as you would think. There was a moment when I was standing in the middle of the street after hearing some of my roof shingles were found in someone’s yard and felt totally lost. My cell phone was not working. My landline, wifi, and everything in my home was electric and had no juice. I didn’t know what to do.
But, not for long.
A man I had never met before offered to help. He borrowed a tarp from one of my neighbors and nailed it to my roof. I had a rescuer. Can’t remember that ever happening to me before. A few days later he came back and replaced the shingles and wouldn’t even let me pay him for the work.
I was impressed with how quickly people came together to help each other. Chain saws were in action within minutes of the storm passing and every one worked together without regard to who owned what tree or property.
People here are resilient. And, I learned I am too.
Without electricity I couldn’t cook, get water from my refrigerator, boil tap water if needed, and my new tankless hot water heater didn’t work. Someone showed up at my door with a case of bottled water, which was a blessing since the stores were shut down. But mostly, I simply did what needed to be done.
I felt calm and capable, like the rest of the people in this town.
My search for wifi the second day so I could work was fruitless, so I let go of my attachment to getting work done. When something like this storm happens, you do what you can and accept what you can’t. I guess the serenity prayer would work well in times like these.
You might be surprised to hear that I am grateful for the experience of this storm. I now have a sense of how well I can adapt and accept situations outside of my control. I also learned who my neighbors really are. No one complained. They just took action. And, I am proud to live in a place where people take pride in their town and come together in times of need.
Photo of my son’s car at the top was taken by my daughter-in-law, Alexis Hudson.
As a coach, I hear a lot of people talking about trying to figure out what their life purpose is. For many, not feeling they know it is a source of great angst and leaves them feeling like they are living their lives all wrong. They feel guilty and ashamed that they are not doing this one great thing because they can’t figure it out. And, that makes them feel like a failure
My clients are often surprised when I share my thoughts on life purpose with them.
I believe it’s okay to play with purpose, but not let seeking it rule you. You can take quizzes and read books that help you connect with your values, natural gifts and what you enjoy, but that doesn’t always lead to knowing your purpose in this world.
You may also hear that if you just do what you love, you will be living on purpose. Supposedly, money will follow, but I am not so sure it always works out that way. Sometimes we need to do things we don’t love to take care of ourselves and loved ones.
I’m not usually a naysayer, but I’ve seen people get obsessed with this idea of purpose and shame themselves if they think they are not in alignment with it.
There is a more peaceful way.
Realize that your life purpose is not always a big, grand thing. It could be a series of little tiny moments where you start a butterfly effect without even knowing. It could be within arms reach within your family or the work you are already doing. Or, it could be a simple smile you give someone that lifts them up to do what they are meant to do in the world.
Don’t let this idea of purpose keep you stuck or control you. If you don’t have a sense of it, just live your life consciously. Follow your heart and intuition with each small decision you make and eventually you will end up in the right place.
Actually, I believe you are already there.
Seeking purpose takes you out of your life and present moments. It can distract you from the things that are most meaningful and cause you to overlook the very thing you are looking for.
It’s not big, its simple. Purpose is about living a life of alignment and making choices based on your inner knowing. It’s not something you seek. It is always there guiding you from within. And, you don’t need to know it’s name, shape, or form.
It’s time to take the pressure off and just live in a way that feels meaningful. You are always on purpose whether you know it or not.
One of the things I loved about my friend Sybil who recently passed was her love of bringing people together for food and stimulating conversation. She loved to listen and bask in the warmth of being surrounded by interesting friends.
As she was losing her ability to speak, she loved writing letters to us. I came across a few of them recently and they were full of amusing observations and appreciation for the people around her. I could almost here her chuckling between the lines.
Eventually, she lost her ability to write or type her own letters, and the ones she received from others became a new source of joy. She would have me read them to her over and over again.
As time passed and her disease progressed the letters and visits from friends came less often and she felt more isolated. It was hard to watch her lose those connections to the outside world and I realized how valuable a simple letter could be.
Since then I have been writing letters from the heart. As I write them I am flooded with memories and appreciation for the person I am writing to. Their responses are incredible. They cry. I cry. And, I realized the gifts of those letters were not just for the recipients, but for me as well.
My friend Lynette Smith is a big fan of writing letters from the heart. At her son’s wedding, he and his bride presented their parents with framed letters of appreciation. Lynette cherishes this gift and it has inspired her mission to get people putting pen to paper again. The cornerstone of this mission is her book: How to Write Heartfelt Letters to Treasure: For Special Occasions and Occasions Made Special.
Who can you write a heartfelt letter of appreciation to? I encourage you to give it a try. You will find it is one of the most rewarding things you can do.