When my mom passed 23 years ago I loved her deeply, but also felt disconnected from her. I would have told you it was because of family issues, but the truth was that I was really just stuck in stories and marinating in emotional pain.
As I healed my past, I labeled my mom as a victim. Poor mom. She never learned to drive and had no freedom. She sometimes felt trapped in her marriage. And, she suffered from the debilitating effects of the diabetes that eventually killed her.
And then, one day in a beautiful moment of clarity, I decided to drop the labels and stories and just appreciate her. What happened next changed my life. Once the stories and labels were stripped away, all that remained was love. I could feel my mom loving me, even from beyond the grave. And, my heart was full of love for her.
I remembered pretending to be sick so I could stay home from school and be with her. I remembered our walks to the library and how much she loved reading. I remember her screaming and physically holding onto me as I left home, putting myself in a dangerous situation.
Twenty one years after her death, my mom and I have a great relationship. I am free to love her and feel the love she has for me. And, I am grateful for all she has taught me, including this lesson about how letting go of labels and stories can allow miracles to happen.
My father and I healed our relationship after he died, too. I really do understand this!
Oh good. At least there is one person who doesn’t think I am a little crazy. But, it’s true. It is never too late to heal a relationship. I am so happy for you and your father.
I wish I’d known Aunt Mavis. My Grandmother always said she was a nice person and that Sue looked like her. God Bless cuz and I too feel the warmth of my mother’s love today.
Mom’s are the heart of our lives, even if we don’t know it at the time. I wish we had all known you back then, too.
I had a good relationship with my mom even before she died, though I always felt closer to my dad. Still, even today, I observe a tradition with a bath towel from her linen closet that I use daily as a hairspray shield; the first time I’m preparing to use the towel right after it’s been laundered, I caress it against my cheek and direct loving thoughts to my mom. I know she feels my love at those times; it’s our special, direct-communication time.
What a beautiful way to honor and connect with your mom! Thank you for sharing it.
Linda, I know what you are talking about. Thanks for a beautiful post. Happy Mother’s Day!
Hope your Mother’s Day is lovely as well.