One of my clients the other day was experiencing a lot of regret for how a past relationship ended. She felt guilty that she hadn’t tried harder and hurt the other person involved. The guilt she felt was eating her up from the inside out and impacting how she approached her current relationship, possibly putting it at risk.
She asked for my support in helping her clear her feelings of guilt and remorse. She didn’t want it to color how she lives now and feed a pattern of self-sabotage.
My client was also aware that this guilt impacted her relationship with herself as she judged herself harshly for what had happened. She knew that her self-esteem had taken a hit and she was afraid that might cause her to make the same mistake again.
I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t have some regrets. Many of us spend a lot of time dwelling on them, which is unhealthy and a waste of our present moments. The past is in the past. But, if you find yourself getting stuck in those regrets and the guilt that comes with them, there is a way to neutralize them.
Remember Your Humanity: We are all human. And, the truth is we do the best we know how or are capable of at the time. Chances are you didn’t have the resources, strength, or understanding you needed to do things differently way back when. And, always keep in mind that what you do is not who you are.
Identify Your Judgments: Guilt and regret are founded in the energy of judgment. How are you judging yourself for what happened in the past? I encourage you to write down everything that comes to mind.
Forgive Yourself: One of the cornerstones of spiritual psychology is self-forgiveness. It is when you forgive yourself that true healing can begin.
For each of the judgments you identified, write the following filling in the blank with one of the things you have judged yourself for.
“I forgive myself for judging myself as _____”
New judgments may come forward. Just keep writing until you feel emptied out and there is nothing left.
Complete this forgiveness exercise by putting your hand over your heart and reading through the forgiveness statements you have written. You can repeat this as often as you want.
You may want to keep this process handy. I know I do. It seems to be human nature to judge ourselves, creating guilt, regret, and all of the consequences they bring.
It doesn’t matter what you think you did wrong. You are a soul, a child of God and what you did has nothing to do with who you really are.
So, embrace your humanity and loving spirit by shining some of that love on yourself.
If you feel stuck in guilt and would like to work with an experienced professional coach to move through it, I would love to have the opportunity to support you. You can contact me here or email me at lifecoachlinda.gmail.com