Nothing prepared me for what was going to happen when my first grandchild was born. Friends would get these mysterious smiles and say, “Just wait, it will be wonderful.”
And it was. More than wonderful.
Even though my oldest grandson is about to graduate high school, the moment I first saw him is branded in my heart and mind forever.
Everything fell away in that moment and my heart opened beyond anything I could have imagined. I was experiencing a miracle of life and love.
No more guarding and protecting my heart. No more sitting on the sidelines. I was in! All in!
The same feelings came forward when his sister and brother were born, but that first time was like a shock to my system because I didn’t know I could love that freely and at such a deep level. I hadn’t realized how big my heart really was.
Don’t get me wrong – I love my son more than anything, but we were separated when he was born because he was premature and didn’t get to experience those first magical moments together. And then, there was all that single parenting struggle that kept me busy and my upbringing in a family that didn’t show affection that held me back. So even though I love him more than life itself, I didn’t have the skills or freedom to really demonstrate it at the time.
That is why being a grandmother is different than being a mom. We are free to just love without the daily stress and worries. We can see things from a broader perspective supported by our years of experience and our only job is to be there fully for these new precious beings that come into our lives.
There is a moment I remember when my grandchildren were young that symbolizes for me what being a grandma is about.
As I walked into their house for a visit, they all ran over to hug me at the same time and ended up knocking me down onto the floor. Their parents were yelling at them to stop and I remember looking up and trying to figure out why. Because I was in heaven. Pure bliss. Wrestled to the floor with love.
That is what it feels like to become a grandmother.
I guess I am feeling nostalgic because my first grandbaby will be going to college soon, but I will never forget how it felt to become a grandmother for the first time. My heart will never be the same again. And that, is a good thing.
Please feel free to comment on this post. I would love to hear what you have to say about becoming a grandmother.