If you are a human on planet Earth, you are probably spending a lot of time and energy on things that aren’t serving you well. Things like: Continue reading
If you are a human on planet Earth, you are probably spending a lot of time and energy on things that aren’t serving you well. Things like: Continue reading
Some of my clients are shorter than me, but only because they are kids. We talk about things like developing their own code of honor, strategies for school, and family issues. I’m often surprised though, about the level of worry and anxiety they are experiencing at such a young age and am grateful I can help them.
Coaching kids can be rewarding and fun. They are curious, engaged, and open to new ideas. They also challenge me to keep things simple and create metaphors that help them remember.
It occurred to me that we adults can benefit from these simple metaphors and perspectives, too. So, here is my child’s version of talking about worry and the fear it creates. Continue reading
For me, it shows up as a sense of being disconnected from myself and my higher power. I start to get mired in what is going wrong in my life or the world. Sometimes fantasies of impending doom or victim stories play through my mind. If I let it play out too long, it can turn into depression.
I don’t know what to call it, but I think you might know what I am talking about.
What I do know is that when we start to fall into this trap of negativity, the quickest path back to our true selves includes a return to gratitude. Continue reading
Confidence and self-esteem are based on a foundation of being able to trust yourself. When you know that you will take care of your own needs, you will feel safe enough to move confidently into the world.
This may feel hard or impossible in some moments, but it doesn’t need to.
Simply practice the following steps to increase self trust and the confidence that you desire will naturally follow. Continue reading
Life gets rough at times. You may be experiencing personal challenges, surrounded by negative people, or inundated with bad news, but you don’t have to feel yucky because of it.
As I write this we are nearing the presidential election and I find that talk of politics and all of the negativity involved is upsetting me. My clients feel the same way.
So this may be the perfect time to find some ways to feel good when when life is dragging us down.
I was going through some books this morning that I have gathered over the years and came across one by Sarah Ban Breathnach called, Simple Abundance. I let the pages fall open where they would and saw this:
“When we cherish our dream and invest love, creative energy, perseverance, and passion for ourselves, we will achieve authentic success.”
Well said, Sarah.
This lovely book is based on her 6 principles of simple abundance:
Just saying them brings peace to my heart.
I think I am going to spend some time with this book again. Apparently, it still has more to teach me.
Things move pretty fast in our world these days and that means we are moving fast too. In order to keep, up we may feel we have to act and respond quickly to what is before us. And, that can be a problem.
We end up reacting to what is happening in the moment. We react instead of respond, and we do it without taking time to check within for what we really, really, really want.
Hitting the pause button and taking a moment to connect with your values and intuition allows you to act in ways that are more in alignment with your heart and soul.
Here are some ways that you can integrate the power of the pause into your life:
The power of the pause allows you to operate from the core of who you are and consciously create the life and relationships you desire. And… it can prevent a whole lot of regrets…
Where in your life can you benefit from using the power of the pause?
When life isn’t working for you and just about everything feels off, it is a good sign that you may be living out of alignment with your authentic self. All of us are to some degree, but when you choose to embrace authenticity your life can be transformed.
Here is how:
Life can shape and mold you and sometimes in order to cope or feel like you belong, you develop an external personality to share with the world. It may be bolder, quieter, nicer, naughtier, or one of the most common I see, a people pleaser. Ultimately, you just want to be accepted, and if you are lucky, loved. But, after a while you will start to doubt whether people would care about you if they could see who you truly are and your outward persona becomes your inner downfall.
The only way that you can attract the people in your life who will love you for who you really are is to share that authentic self with the world. To be vulnerable, open, strong, weak, angry, sad, and fully your own self. Just you. The real you. That takes more courage than just about anything in this world, but when you walk through life authentically you will know the love you experience is true and the right people are by your side.
Live and Speak the Truth
When you are grounded in the truth and it is expressed in the words you use and the way you live your life, you feel solid, strong, and connected to your soul. There is a sense of clarity and peacefulness because living the truth is simple. Not complicated. There is only one thing to say and one thing to be. The truth. This is one of the most powerful, empowering, and calming things you can do for yourself.
Be Fully Present in Each and Every Moment
Most of us just skim the surface of life, being distracted and missing the magic of our individual moments. When you choose to be fully present your life becomes richer and more beautiful. Your focus improves and your mind lets go of the challenges of the past and the worries of the future. Life becomes more peaceful as your mind stops spinning and you focus on what you are doing now. Right now.
Listen to Your Heart and Soul
Living authentically clears the way for your inner voice to be heard. It’s been there all along, but sometimes lost in the clutter of an inauthentic life. From that voice comes your inner knowing, the part of you that is wise beyond all measure and can guide you through the ups and downs of life. Sometimes it speaks through your body and other times you hear a strong, calm voice in your head and you just know what it says is true. It has all the answers. They are right there waiting for you when you allow space for them to come through.
Keep Your Agreements – Especially the Ones You Make to Yourself
Being in integrity feels good. For many of us, we have no problem keeping commitments we make to our jobs or other people, but when it comes to agreements with ourselves we act as if they don’t matter. How many diets, goals, and New Year resolutions have been left in the dust with barely a second thought?
When you break your agreements to yourself you undermine your self-trust, confidence, and self-esteem. So, don’t make big grand agreements. Be careful to only make commitments to yourself that you truly intend to keep. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you have. When you know you can trust yourself, anything is possible.
Thank God for All of Your Magical Moments and Blessings in Disguise
Living authentically includes remembering that your life in this human world is a gift and even the hardest times are in some way blessings because they expand your soul and teach you what you need to learn. Thank God for your days, your successes, the people in your life, and the beauty around you. And, while you are at it, express appreciation to others for what they do well or qualities they embody. Focusing on gratitude will fill your heart and let you know that living authentically is the best gift that you can give yourself.
Don’t forget to leave a comment. I would love to hear what you have to say.
For some reason, anxiety has been a big subject with my coaching clients this week. Maybe it is the time of year or something in the air, but it seems like a lot of people are feeling anxious.
That makes it the perfect time to share some of my strategies for stopping anxiety in it’s tracks.
4 Count Breathing – With the exception of real emergencies, anxiety is usually about something that may happen in the future or a reaction to something you already experienced. Focusing on your breathing brings you back to the peaceful present moment. And, since your mind can only focus on one thing at a time, counting blocks out the thoughts that feed your anxious moments. It goes like this:
Take a deep breath in as you slowly count to 4
Hold your breath for a count of 4
Breathe out slowly to the count of 4
Pause before your next breath to the count of 4
Challenge Your Anxiety – Most of what worries you never really happens. It is probably not even true. Your mind just takes you on a wild ride of creative bad scenarios. I know mine sure does. When this happens, ask yourself the following questions to bring your focus back into reality:
Give It To God – Many of the things that cause anxiety are not in your control. So, what would happen if you just let the Big Guy handle them? Let him know you are going to put the issue in his hands and will check in with him after a certain period of time. And then, set the issue out of your mind until it is time to check in. It is amazing how well this can work.
I give my concerns over to God every night before I go to sleep. This not only allows for a good night of rest, but can be an excellent preventive measure in the battle with anxiety. I often wake up with the worrisome situation being resolved or the solutions given to me. Sometimes, I just no longer care as it has lost it’s power over me.
Make Friends with It – Anxiety can feel like a big, powerful thing that has control over you, but that is just not true. Many things that trigger anxious thoughts were installed in us when we were little and vulnerable and everything felt more powerful than it was.
When you see anxiety for what it really is you can relate to it in a different way. Even make friends with it. Some of my clients give their anxiety names like Minnie Mouse, Cookie Monster, or Jumpy George. Doing this facilitates seeing it in a different, less controlling way.
When it shows up, talk to it. Thank it for offering to help and let it know that you are all grown up now and have things under control. Have a nice little chat with your new friend and then give him a new assignment, like Protector of Peace or Facilitator of Fun.
Audit Your Input – What you put into your mind and body can contribute to either peace or anxiety. I am often surprised when clients who drink a lot of caffeine or energy drinks don’t realize that this can contribute to their feeling anxious. You can cultivate more peace within by drinking calming teas and allowing your body and mind to work at their normal capacity.
Another way you can set yourself up for feeling tense and worried is by reading or watching movies and shows that are full of violence or tense energy, especially before bed. If these are your preferred forms of entertainment give yourself a cushion between them and your bed time to let your body and mind calm down. Even better than that, switch to more peaceful, fun, or meaningful entertainment. I once read that our bodies react to violence we watch or read as if it is really happening. Do you really want to put yourself through that?
Practice Peaceful Habits – Creating habits and practices that support your calm and well-being can lead to an anxiety free life. Let go of what no longer serves you and bring in people and things that feed your soul. Many of my clients find that simplifying their lives by de-cluttering and learning to say no make a big difference. Others, will swear that exercise, art, meditation, prayer, yoga, or music have minimized the anxiety in their lives. Find what works for you and make a commitment to doing it regularly.
These tool have proven successful for my clients and myself. I am confident that they can help you too. Go ahead, give them a try. You will find more peace when you do.
If you would like coaching support to deal with the anxiety in your life, I would love to help. Contact Me
The truth is, I think I was born a vegetarian. I can remember being a young girl and feeling sick to my stomach when I saw raw meat or bird bodies defrosting in the sink. My parents weren’t open to the idea of me eating differently and eventually I adapted and became an average American carnivore.
I used to love chicken pot pies and traditional Thanksgiving dinners.
And then, one day about 15 years ago I broke out in hives and had to go to the emergency room. The doctors thought it was a reaction to something I ate and suggested I get screened for allergies. It took a couple weeks to get an appointment and I didn’t want to risk getting hives again, so I began to research food and allergies on my own.
Along the way, I learned some really disturbing things about the foods we are sold and my heart guided me into a vegetarian lifestyle.
It felt like coming home.
While I have been a vegetarian for almost 2 decades, I am not a political one. I like my meat eating friends and family and it is not up to me to say what is right for them. I don’t go around introducing myself as “Linda the Vegetarian” and some of my friends may even be surprised when they read this.
What I do know is that being a vegetarian feels right for me on a soul level. It doesn’t feel like a decision I made, it feels like who I am.
There are other reasons why this lifestyle feels in alignment for me and might appeal to you:
If you are interested in learning more, these resources can get you started:
Movies: (most of these are available on Netflix)
And, of course, there is always me. Just ask your questions in the comments below and I will be happy to respond.
Not too long ago I found myself feeling kind of low. I was in a funk. All I wanted to do was sit on the couch and read novels with a cat on my lap.
This felt great for a couple days, but eventually I knew I needed to get moving. I was turning into a slug and I wasn’t sure how to become human again.
As I drove into my garage one day after running an errand I could feel my energy drop. My garage felt heavy, like something that weighed me down. While mostly neat, piled along the left wall were all the things I was saving for a garage sale. Over time that area had become, shall I say, messy.
When I realized how yucky the garage made me feel, I knew what my therapy would be. I started going through the cluttered piles of things and after a couple hours of sorting, organizing, throwing away, and generally tidying up, I felt good about what I had accomplished. Even now, pulling into my nice and tidy garage makes me smile.
When our car, house, or office look uncared for it can be a sign that we are: Continue reading
I have a friend who everyone seems to love. She is of a mature age (trying to be polite here) and lives life in a responsible way. What makes her stand out, though is her penchant for wearing pink, sparkly high top sneakers. Everywhere. Even business meetings and church. She says they make her happy and remind her to sparkle. I’ve noticed that they also make the people around her smile.
My friend has tapped into her playful inner child.
I want what she has. She seems to feel lighter and happier than the rest of us. More care free. And, her sparkliness invites adventure, fun, and friendships into her life.
It’s easy to forget what it feels like to play. As an adult you have responsibilities and expectations to live up to. You are probably so busy doing what you think you have to do that you don’t even remember you have all that joy within. But, don’t worry. You inner child will never give up on you.
You can reconnect with her again through: Continue reading
There is still a lot of confusion about what life coaches do. Even coaches have trouble explaining it. And, everyone seems to be a coach these days. How confusing is that?
In general, a professionally qualified life coach will listen carefully and provide support, perspective, guidance, new skills and tools, motivation, accountability, and champion you along the way to your best life.
Who doesn’t want that?
Most clients work with a life coach because they: Continue reading
When I was studying spiritual psychology, one of our assignments was to create and follow a weekly action plan for bringing more joy and well-being into our lives. To be honest, I wasn’t really excited about the idea. It was just one more thing I had to do.
Being the little rule follower that I am, I actually followed through on the assignment and started creating moments designed to invite in joy and well-being. After a few months, it became a habit and I noticed that I felt more positive and, dare I say, even happy. Really? Me? Continue reading
Call me old fashioned, but I think there are some things best done with pen and paper. Don’t get me wrong, I have hundreds of documents in my computer, but I’ve seen real magic happen through the act of writing the way it’s been done for years. Continue reading
Your brain is a great tool, but sometimes your mind can drive you crazy. It can get into repetitive loops with the kinds of thoughts that bring you down or hold you back. Or, it can just spin out of control. If you are like most human beings, you are experiencing both.
Here is a simple way to retrain your brain and let go of these negative patterns of thinking: Continue reading
It was a few days before my client would give her first presentation before a group and anxiety was starting to bubble up. She asked for my help in minimizing her fear before it boiled over. Continue reading
Things happen in life that cause pain and are hard to understand. This is true.
When they happen it is important to allow yourself to feel your feelings, which often include sadness, anger, or loss. When you allow your feelings to process, you will be able to heal and eventually move forward. Continue reading
I lost my favorite pair of yoga pants. In my house. They have to be here somewhere, but I can’t find them. I’ve been looking for days.
And, I am not alone. My clients and friends talk about it often. One found her earrings in her underwear drawer and another opened her freezer the other day and discovered frozen car keys. Continue reading
My little 3 year old cat Joey is very sick. He almost died. And, still could.
Being totally human, I went off the deep end with worry. I created stories about terrible outcomes and took his fear and upset personally, especially when he seemed to not trust me anymore. It broke my heart. Continue reading