How to Stop Taking Things Personally

take things personally
taking things personally

It’s easy to get upset in our interactions with others. They can say things we take wrong or even intend to hurt us. On the flip side, we can feel bad if we unintentionally hurt someone else or feel misunderstood.

These are signs that we are taking things personally.

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Follow Your Senses to the Present Moment

senses, present moment

I think we can all agree that our lives today are full of distractions. We are so busy doing that we lose touch with our ability to just be. It leaves us living surface level, task oriented lives instead of being able to savor the moments we are given.

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Bringing Balance to Your Relationship with Money

Money is one of those subjects that can bring out the best and the worst in us. It can be seductive, shameful, and trigger all of our emotional “stuff” more than just about anything in life.

Fear is one of the most common things my clients talk about when the subject of money comes up. Sometimes it’s warranted, but even when doing well many are haunted by images of becoming bag ladies living on the street.

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Living Your Values & Dreams in the New Year

values dreams new year

As the new year approaches I am thinking about what I would like to create in my life for the next trip around the sun. Some may call it goal setting, but my way of thinking about goals and bringing things to life has evolved over the years.

When I was younger, I was very committed to SMART goals and resolutions, and they served me well at the time. I excelled in my work, bought a home and generally improved my life. In later years, as I studied coaching and psychology and worked with more people, the potential downside of this method became more clear.

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Questions to Ask Yourself When Something or Someone Upsets You

someone upsets
life coach

It’s so easy to get caught up in the drama, reacting to what is happening and feeling like you need to defend or protect yourself. The story of what is happening may even become amplified in your mind when it triggers fears, pain or echoes a past negative experience. But, the extra upset you create only hurts you and keeps you distracted from resolution.

Resolving things that feel upsetting happens best when you can be in a calm and rational state. When your energy is neutral you can be more thoughtful, open and find solutions for the issue at hand. Easier said then done. Right?

Keep in mind – It’s how you relate to the issue that matters most.

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How to Feel More Grounded

grounded, centered, feel more grounded

When we are grounded, we feel centered, strong, aligned, and connected to our inner wisdom. It brings a calm confidence that empowers us and allows us to operate as our best selves.

Life can sometimes unsettle us and pull us from our natural grounded state. When it does this, we may notice that we are not feeling or doing our best. Everything may seem harder and our inner resources can be depleted.

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Simplify Your Life with the Art of Deciding Once

deciding once simplify

Decision fatigue comes when we find ourselves having to evaluate and make choices over and over again. We make more decisions in one day than previous generations ever had to and to be honest it can be quite tiring.

Many of the choices we make each day are the same ones we made the day before. What to eat. What to wear. When to go to bed. What if there was a way to simplify the number of daily decisions and leave more space in our brains for other, more important things?

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A Simple and Powerful Year End Process

year end process
end of year process

I believe that it is important to review and close out the year that is ending to learn all that we can from it. Doing so also lays the foundation for our dreams and plans in the coming year. This simple year end process opens the door to a deeper understanding of the gifts and challenges we experienced last year and supports heartfelt intentions and goals for the New Year.

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How to Create Closure and Honor Your Experiences

closure

The period of completion after an uncomfortable experience is not just about resolution, it is also a time of transition. When we seek closure, what we really want is an understanding of what has happened and an opportunity to integrate the lessons we have learned. Continue reading

Are You Stuffocating?

stuffocating

I don’t have the bumper sticker, but I am one of those people who brakes for garage sales. Hunting for hidden treasures is something I have always enjoyed. It probably goes back to my roots of wearing thrift store clothes as a kid and how much fun it was to find something I loved.

In more recent years I’ve become more selective about what I buy and often come home empty handed. What I enjoy now is looking and visiting with the people there. My dog Daisy loves to join me on these adventures and is pretty good at soliciting lots of pets and attention.

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3 Things to Remember When You are Feeling Sad

feeling sad

We all have our moments of sadness, whether they are based on something that happened or seem to just show up for no reason. For many of us, these sad moments can keep piling up, leading to long term low moods or even depression.

We can feel helpless when that happens.

But, we don’t have to if we remember these 3 things:

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Practice Mental Hygiene for a Lifetime of Better Moods

mental hygiene better moods

Have you ever noticed that as people get older they become more entrenched in the way they view the world? I remember one woman I met while volunteering at an Alzheimer’s facility. She was always smiling and would get really excited about simple things like a game of Bingo. Her positive mindset was helping her stay happy and enjoy better moods during a challenging time of her life.

And then, I remember my dad. He would complain endlessly about people who he felt took advantage of him or what was wrong with the world. Visiting him meant listening to much repeated stories of things that had gone wrong in his life. He was angry, hateful and sad and I always felt drained after visiting him.

Both of these people had chosen a way of thinking that programmed their brains year after year until they were living fully in the mindsets they created.

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The Path to Serenity

serenity

I’m often drawn to people who have a sense of quiet confidence and serenity about them. They seem to move through the world differently, like there is a river of strength, capability and peace running through them.

I want to be more like that.

And, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did too.

Whenever we grow or heal or improve ourselves we move closer to this sense of strength and peace within. Serenity is our natural state and the things that keep us in stress, anxiety and overwhelm are simply covering it up. The path to deep serenity is one of loving ourselves and letting go of what no longer serves us. It is a lifelong journey.

While we travel this healing journey toward peace, we also find ourselves craving serenity in our daily lives. Every time we listen to that call and focus on a more peaceful way of being we take one step closer to our authentic serene selves.

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Feeling Stuck in the Muck and How to Get Out of It

stuck in the muck
bike stuck in snow

Life is commonly viewed as a straight line that goes from birth to death. I don’t know about you, but mine is full of peaks and valleys, twists and turns and a whole lot of spirals that don’t seem to go anywhere.

Those spirals, that I often call getting stuck in the muck, keep me spinning in circles instead of moving forward and make me miserable too. The symptoms are easy to identify:

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39 Simple Ways to Brighten Your Day

improve your day

Even when our days feel good, there is always room for improvement. It doesn’t mean you have to put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that can brighten your day the most.

Here are some simple and easy ways to make your days feel great:

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How to Break the Cycle of Over-Eating

over-eating over eating

This is the time of year when my clients are asking a lot of questions about dieting, over-eating and resolutions. A new year is always a good time for a fresh start, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fan of New Year resolutions. Very few people actually keep them and broken resolutions can damage our confidence and self-esteem.

Instead, I recommend choosing a theme to play with and/or setting intentions for the year to come. Intentions are more fluid than resolutions and still lead you on a path to what you want and who you want to become. If you fall off the path there is no need for judgement, you simply pick up where you left off.

This morning I was talking to a client about improving her relationship with food and breaking the cycle of over-eating. As I recommended some steps for her I realized they might make a good blog post, so here they are:

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Intentionally Creating Your New Year

new year intentions
new year resolutions

We can let our next year happen and just accept our default experiences or we can work toward intentionally creating a year that we will love.

While this may sound like resolutions, it is a bit different. Resolutions have fixed outcomes and if you don’t reach them you feel like you have failed. Intentions move you forward the direction you want to go without expectations of a specific outcome. They leave room for shifts in direction or moving toward new opportunities when they arise.

Intentions are a more gentle and graceful way to follow your heart and become the person you want to be.

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When You Can’t Get What You Want

can't get what you want
little girl crying
life coach

We all have dreams and desires that may not be possible at the present moment, but what do you do when something you really, really want can’t happen.

One of my clients contacted me because she wanted to move to a small town in the midwest, but her husband didn’t feel he could leave his high earning job at the time. The small town idea was stuck in her mind and she just couldn’t shake it. After we confirmed the reality of her situation, I asked her what she thought it would be like to live in a small town. She painted a beautiful picture of a simple life with a close-knit community that reminded me of a Hallmark movie. It was lovely.

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Quieting the Inner Bully

inner bully kindness matters sign

I love garage sales and the picture above is of one of my recent finds. As I hung it on the wall, I reflected on the message of kindness. Yes. Kindness truly does matter and it’s something I work to integrate into my life. Like many of you I can be very kind to others, but sometimes it’s a bit harder to remember to be kind to myself.

Each of us has an inner bully, a voice in our head that belittles us and makes us feel bad. Many of us give it free rein and believe what it says even though it’s messages aren’t true. The strange thing is that we would go to great lengths to protect a child who was being bullied, but then let our own inner bully beat us up day in and day out.

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