How to Limit Negative Influences in Your Life

 

negative influences happy and sad smileys

Years ago I went through a time period when I was feeling sad and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It had happened gradually without my realizing what was going on. My days felt hard and my heart was heavy.

And then, one evening I was sitting on my couch watching TV and began to cry. I realized this was becoming a pattern and that is when I realized what was happening. Continue reading

How to Feel More Satisfied with Your Life

satisfaction how to feel satisfied angel

 

“I can’t get no satisfaction, I can’t get no satisfaction
‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try
I can’t get no, I can’t get no” –  Mick Jagger

I’ve been feeling a bit like Mick Jagger lately and it’s my own fault. I’ve somehow slipped into a state of feeling unsatisfied with things in my life.

  • My to do list never ends and I never get enough done
  • My ideas became expectations with unrealistic deadlines
  • Instead of focusing on what I’ve accomplished, my thoughts are on what is not done yet

Continue reading

How to Feel More Happy & Positive

feel happy & positive life coach life coaching

We all have our ups and downs, but some of us have more of a roller coaster ride through life than others. While there is little you can do to influence events that happen outside of you, there are many ways you can shift how you feel and create a more positive life.

Here are some of my favorites: Continue reading

The Gifts of Living a Simple Life

gifts of simple living coffee book flowers simple life

When people hear that I choose to live simply they shake their heads and say they could never survive a simple life. In their minds they are picturing life in a cabin with one chair, one plate, and one fork. Or, a house that is cold, colorless, empty, and devoid of personality. And then, they imagine having to wear old, worn, and frumpy thrift store clothes, maybe even pioneer dresses. To them simple living sounds like a nightmare.

But, the truth is, it’s nothing like that at all.   Continue reading

Dog Training is Good for Human’s Too

dog training human training life principles

As most of you know, I recently adopted a little Beagle mix dog named Daisy. In many ways she is the perfect little girl. She adapted to crate training quickly, hasn’t chewed anything to death, got over her fear of cats, and seldom barks. She loves to cuddle, too.

But, Daisy has a couple little quirks that have caused me to spend my evenings watching Cesar Millan (The Dog Whisperer) on TV at night.  Continue reading

A 5 Step Process for Healing Your History

 

healing your past healing your history

We all have stories about our histories and many of them are about childhood experiences where our needs were not met. Some of us continue to feel the pain and anger of those early times and the beliefs we formed about ourselves and the world also continue to shape our lives.

Holding onto our childhood stories can keep us stuck in the past and prevent us from living the life we deserve. We can make ourselves sick by keeping the emotions trapped in our bodies and live as victims controlled by fear.

For many of us, our histories feed our deepest feelings of being unworthy and unlovable.

It is only by releasing these feelings and letting go of the past that you will be free. Free to grow. Free to feel good enough. Free to create the life and love you want. Your past is in the past. It’s an old story. Honor it, but don’t get lost in it. It’s time to write a new story for the rest of your life.

I don’t say this lightly and know that when you are living in emotional pain feeling free of it can seem impossible. I have been there. But, I have also been able to move beyond it. If I can do it, you can too.

Often, the assistance of a qualified coach, counselor, specialized program, or trusted friend can help you find the way. If you would like to talk to me about the possibility of working together to support your healing, you can contact me here

Below is one of the exercises that I have used and recommended. You will want to create some alone time in a quiet space to focus on the process. It may feel awkward at first, but when you really dive in it can help you start to heal your past. Here are the steps:

A 5 Step Process for Healing a Past Issue

  1. Identify a situation to work with and what age you were at the time
  2. Take out paper and pen and ask your younger self (you at the age when the issue happened) what she wants you to know – write what she is saying in the first person (starting with the word “I”) and encourage her to express what she feels fully and freely. Do not judge or edit, just write. She may swear, be angry, or scared. It’s all okay. You are giving her an opportunity to feel heard. You can ask questions or interact with her if you want to further the conversation.
  3. When she is through, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Take a very deep breath and breathe out any negative or limiting emotions that came up during the process. Repeat a couple times if needed and then settle into a pattern of breathing out what no longer serves you and breathing in LOVE. Sit with the feeling of letting go and bringing in love for a few moments.
  4. Comfort your younger self. You can do this by telling her you love her and will keep her safe, hugging yourself, or imagining holding her lovingly.  Do what feels right for you.
  5. Sit with that feeling of love and healing for awhile and then form an intention to carry it forward with you as you step back into your daily life. You may want to journal more about what you have learned in the process and how you feel.

Keep in mind that this is a process and healing your entire history won’t happen over night. But, when you start taking steps in that direction, you are taking a stand for yourself.

If you have thoughts of ending your life, please call a suicide hotline immediately. Here is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Or, if you feel hopelessly entrenched in emotional pain, please get help. Don’t try to tough it out. It’s okay to ask for help. I did, and it changed my life.

Related Posts:

When Forgiveness Feels Too Hard – Try This

Suffering is Optional

How to Create a More Happy & Positive Life

It’s Never What You Think It Will Be

adopting a dog at Petsmart dogs life is full of surprises

I’ve had puppyitis for quite awhile now, spending way too much time looking at available dogs on rescue group websites. This craving has been around for awhile and I finally decided the only way to cure it was to give in.

I inquired about a couple dogs online and was invited to meet them at Petsmart when the rescue group would be there. The primary candidates were a maltipoo and a lab/terrier mix and I was assured they met my requirements of being house trained and good with cats.

That morning I was nervous, but became calm after journaling. I reminded myself that getting a dog from a rescue group is like saving a life, because when you adopt one it makes room for one more to be saved. 

My daughter-in-law, Alexis, came with me for moral support and to keep me from doing anything really crazy. During the drive there I was reviewing the two dogs in my mind trying to decide what to do.

And then, in a moment of clarity, my inner voice said – “It’s never what you think it will be.” 

Adopting a dog at Petsmart leave room for surprises dogsSure enough. You might have noticed in the pictures I definitely didn’t bring home a maltipoo or lab mix. She looks suspiciously like a beagle. The maltipoo looked unhealthy, was chewing his legs, and when I put him down he peed to mark his territory several times. (Don’t ever buy anything off the bottom shelves at Petsmart.)

Meanwhile, there was my little Daisy looking very cute and sweet. She had just been spayed the day before and wasn’t feeling well, but when they opened her crate she came right to me.

It’s never what you think it will be.

I was concerned about getting a dog that would be hard on my cats, but that’s definitely not the case with Daisy. She was terrified of THEM! When Daisy first saw Chloe she shrieked and ran.

It’s never what you think it will be. 

It’s been 5 days now and I have had my moments of wondering why I ever wanted a dog. There has been a lot of work with potty training (it appears she wasn’t trained after all), inter-species relationships, and separation anxiety. She has also seemed depressed and would cower when told no or if I moved too fast.

Today she pottys on walks well (but, won’t go in her own yard), is getting along better with the cats every day, and having brief moments of playfulness.

And, I have fallen in love. 

It’s never what you think it will be.

Related Posts:

The Simple Truth about Fear, Worry, & Anxiety

Fear, Love, and Scaredy Cat Joey

Listen to Your Heart

A Cat, A Lizard and a Life Lesson

answers are closer than you think life lesson lifecoachlinda

One day, I let my cat Chloe (pictured above) out on the patio for a bit of fresh air. I pictured her rolling in the sun or maybe taking a cat nap, but she had something else in mind. Her real mission became obvious when she came running back into the house with a baby lizard in her mouth.

Oh drat! Continue reading

How to Re-energize Your Goals and Dreams

re-energize goals motivation

It’s pretty common that we feel energized when we set goals and intentions for our lives, but as time goes by and life happens that motivation can start to feel like a distant memory.

We remember the goals and are still vaguely aware of why we wanted them, but feel too busy, too tired, or just kind of stuck.   Continue reading

Moving to a Small Town in Missouri – It’s Been 2 Years

moving to small town life Missouri California

My special friend – Little Momma

I am feeling nostalgic about my journey from California to Missouri in 2016. A lot has happened since then and I am very happy in my new town where I am close to my family and feel connected to the community.

A few weeks ago I moved again to another house just blocks from the first one. I have great neighbors, a beautiful view, and the house has great bones. I am currently in decorating mode and keep staring at samples of paint colors on my walls, hoping I will make a decision soon.  Continue reading

Fear and Anxiety: How to Make Friends with Your Lizard Brain

fear and anxiety t-rex lizard brain
For some reason I have been hearing the term “lizard brain” a lot this week.  This is a nickname for the part of your brain that deals with survival and creates your fight or flight response.  You may think of it as your own personal freak out zone.  Continue reading

How to Get Perspective When Feeling Pressured

under pressure valve

I’ve been to a lot of seminars over the years. Some were great, some were okay, and some of them made me feel uncomfortable. The ones I didn’t like usually involved pressure to buy, sell, or do something out of your comfort zone in order to be accepted.

It’s interesting to watch these charismatic seminar leaders in action. They make a lot of money doing this and are experts at building momentum and get people fired up.

They create a sense of urgency, use peer pressure, and sometimes shaming language: Continue reading

Listen to Your Heart

heartfelt listen to your heart follow your heart

I’ve been a life coach for 15 years now. That is a long time. And, during that time I have witnessed transformations, courage, and deep pain as I supported people through the challenges in their lives.

When people ask what my niche or focus is I feel lost because I work with whatever challenges people bring to me – divorce, career, life threatening illness, restlessness, relationships, stress, simplifying their lives, confidence, self-care, creating something new, etc. You name it and I’ve probably coached it. And, I’ve loved it all.

The truth is – I don’t coach specific problems, I coach people. I believe that the issue isn’t necessarily the issue. It’s what lies beneath that matters. Continue reading

Having Trouble Forgiving & Letting Go? Try This…

forgiveness forgive forgiving

The concept of forgiving is very noble and we are told it is the right thing to do, but sometimes it is not so easy.

Even when we know that forgiving is not saying the other person was right we may still crave completion, an apology, a way to prevent it from happening to someone else, retribution, or even just understanding what happened. Continue reading

How to Cultivate Inner Peace

heart on fence inner peace

How peaceful are you feeling today? If you are like most people on earth there is probably a lot on your schedule and even more on your mind.

The following peace enhancing steps are ones that I taught at a retreat a couple years ago. I think you might like them. Continue reading

Spring Clean Your Life

spring clean spring cleaning

For the last year and a half I have lived in a place that has real seasons. Hot summers, fall leaves, winter snow, and birds and flowers in spring. But, I think my California brain is still adapting.

A little while ago we had a sunny and relatively warm day in the midst of winter. It fooled my brain and triggered a desire to spring clean, even though I knew the cold weather would return. I took advantage of the motivation and deep cleaned my house. It was a day of energy and satisfaction brought on by what felt like spring sunshine.

I loved having a preview of spring and appreciated how it motivated me to refresh and renew my space. And now, the change of seasons is really happening and I am ready to spring clean and spit polish my life all over again.

Would you like to join me? Here is how: Continue reading

A New More Empowering Perspective on Life Experiences

life experiences woman in trees

We are taught that we are living out our life in a line. A life line that is full of twists, turns, and maybe even corkscrews. As we follow this path we encounter experiences that can block us, throw us off track, or bring us up or down. Sometimes they even set us back so that we have to start over. It’s a perspective that can leave you feeling battered and powerless over time. Continue reading

A Quick & Easy Way to Stop Negative Thinking that Keeps You Stuck

rocket launch stop inertia get unstuck

It’s interesting how we can have incredible ideas, intentions and goals and then get totally stuck when we try to implement them. The likely culprit is that we start over thinking and fall into a pattern of negative thoughts. Excitement and planning can quickly shift to reasons we shouldn’t move forward or can’t make things happen, especially if fear has a say.

And then, we find ourselves stuck in indecision and losing motivation as self-doubt and inertia set in. Our lives stay the same and our dreams fade into the distance.

But, wait! There is a quick and easy way to shift this pattern and make things happen.  Here’s how it goes: Continue reading

Want to Clear Clutter? Start with These 25 Things that are Easy to Get Rid Of

Don't sutffocate! clear clutter declutter minimalism

Clearing clutter out of your home creates a more peaceful and supportive environment. But, sometimes it’s hard to get started or create positive momentum toward your clutter free goals.

Decluttering  can feel like an overwhelming project. That is, unless you can kick start the process. One way to do this is to start with some of the things listed below. Continue reading