When something or someone challenges us it is easy to get stuck in the idea that things should be different. Really stuck.
You can tell when this happens because you will find yourself marinating in a yucky, heavy feeling. You might hear yourself complaining, comparing, blaming, or asking, Why? Why? Why?
This is your victim mentality showing up and it is the opposite of being empowered.
When you recognize that you have fallen into the victim trap, you can make a choice to face the situation in a more positive and effective way. Here is how:
Reset Your Perspective
When something like this happens there are really two separate things going on. The situation and your feelings about it. When these are intertwined you can’t see clearly because you can’t look at the issue without getting upset.
These feelings come up when you take things personally and in many cases they are valid, but they don’t help you solve the problem. When the issue isn’t resolved your misery just continues on and on.
You have another option. You can choose to step back and separate your feelings from the issue. This will allow you to tap into the logical problem solving part of your brain. You can do this by:
- Going into Mr. Spock mode
- Running the situation through your mind like a movie
- Asking yourself how you would advise a friend with the same challenge
- Focusing on the facts
- Becoming like a scientist researching solutions
Shift Your Mindset
There is a certain internal language that goes along with feeling like a victim that keeps you from stepping into your power. This is where the blaming, complaining, oh poor me, I’m so tired, everyone is against me, and hopeless mindset comes in.
It can feel hopeless when you are stuck in these victim thought loops, but you have the ability to shift them by focusing on empowered language and asking yourself the right questions.
- How can I move this issue toward resolution?
- What is my first step?
- What am I committed to?
- Who do I need to become?
- What is my soul learning from this?
- How can this experience be used for good?
Take a Step Forward
In most cases the issue will not resolve itself. Let your new perspective and mindset support you in making a decision about how to respond. Create a plan of action that comes from your higher self and step into it.
If you do nothing, in many cases the challenge will repeat itself. Maybe with different people or things, but the core issue is likely to show up again. Taking empowered action to resolve the situation in a positive way will help you move on, feel confident, relieve those yucky feelings, and align with your highest self.
And, that is a good thing.
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